Thought I would throw out this very rough draft Plan B letter for some constructive criticism. I will be gone most of the weekend so hopefully y'all will have time to look it over and let me know what you think. <p>It actually felt good to write it, not sure when and if I will send it, but need to have this option available if things don't turn around soon.<p>WS,<p>This is by far the hardest thing that I have ever had to do, but feel it is necessary to preserve the love and respect that I still feel for you. Please read this letter with an open heart and mind and understand that it is what I need to do.<p>Thirteen years ago when I made the vow to "love you, to honor and cherish you, in joy and in sorrow, in
sickness and in health, and to be to you in all things a good and faithful husband as long as we both shall live", I meant those words from the bottom of my heart. Those vows still hold true today. Taking your hand in marriage was not a matter I took lightly, I did not know what it would require from me, the responsibilities involved or what the future would hold, but I chose to undertake this path knowing that I love you and that together we could conquer anything that this world brought against us. I was not forced to marry you, nor were you forced to marry me, it was a decision we both made on our own free will, much as we chose to remain together and raise a family for all these years.<p>Yes, our marriage has had some very serious problems and I accept responsibility for the pain that I have caused you. I am not a perfect husband and I realize that. Words can not express the sorrow I feel to have put you through some of the things that I have made you go through. But through all of it, I felt that our love and commitment to each other was what kept us together and allowed us to work through our problems and become better people.<p>We have also had some truly blessed times together and for those I am eternaly grateful to have. The life we built together is full of wonderful memories too numerous to mention. I can not imagine anyone else that I would have rather spent these years with. I can honestly say that I was truly happy knowing that you were my wife. <p>When you confessed your infidelity to me, I told you at that moment that I would stand beside you, stay true to our marriage vows and help you through this difficult time. When you first went to the counselor, you called and asked me if I was still willing to remain committeed to our marriage, my answer was a resounding yes, and still today, that answer is the same.<p>The only thing that I asked from you was to stop all contact with OM and allow us to work together to rebuild our marriage and make it better than it ever was. I felt, and still do feel, that we can do this with a lot of hard work and an unwavering commitment to our marriage and family. Unfortunately, this has not happened and I can no longer accept the state that our relationship is in anymore.<p>So I feel that the time has come to sever all ties with each other. This is not an easy decision for me to make, but one I feel necessary to do. I do not want our relationship to end on bad terms, and feel that this is the best way to do it. So, I ask that you respect my request to minimize contact with each other to issues involving our children only. There are no other issues we need to discuss, the financial arrangements and visitation schedules have been agreed to per our seperation agreement. I will do everything I can to spend as much time with my children as possible, whether it be individually, or together. <p>All other contact you feel you need to make that does not deal directly with my children should be directed through a third party. We can use either your parents or my father to relay messages or use my email address at work. Since you do not have internet access at this time, you can contact BF and have her forward any messages to me. Please do not call me at work or on the cell phone unless it deals directly with my children, I will politely hang up if our conversations digress from this subject. I promise that at the times I do have my children, I will allow you unrestricted communication with them. <p>I have and will respect your decision to live your life as you so choose, please respect my decision to do the same.<p>I thank you for the times we had together, I can not even imagine someone else making me feel as special as you have. I will carry the memories of our brief time together forever. I pray that you have success and happiness in your future endeavors. God bless you.<p>With all my love,<p>H

LHS,<p>Is this a letter to end the marriage or a plan B letter? If it is a letter to end the marriage, then it is well crafted and will do the job. If it is a plan b letter it needs to have the last 4-5 paragraphs rewritten to explain, the why and how of your objectives.<p>1. You want to cease contact to preserve the love you have left for her.<p>2. You want to cease contact until such time as OM is out of the picture.<p>3. You realize that as long as OM is in the picture no reconcilliation can occur.<p>4. You still love her and want to be married to her and you hope that this separation will help heal both of you.<p>See what I mean?? Hope so.<p>Not a bad first shot at either letter, but you need to decide which way you are going. I realize that this is as much a vent as the final product.<p>Hang in there.<p>God Bless,<p>JL

JL-<p>Yeah, I think I am just getting some of my frustrations out in this letter. No, I don't want to end the M, I think I need to read up on Plan B more and then take another stab (oops, better not say stuff like that, W might get another RO filed against me) at it. That's one thing I like about MB, to do it properly, it forces you to really think about what you are doing, why you are doing it, and what kinds of results you want to achieve. MB also forces the BS to be accountable for his/her actions and make them think if what they are doing is to be constructive or destructive to the WS and the M.<p>I'm going to let this sit here and look at it again in a few days.<p>Have a great weekend all!

So I feel that the time has come to sever all ties with each other.
You are NOT severing all ties. You are stopping all communication. Marriage is one of the ties.<p>I do not want our relationship to end on bad terms, and feel that this is the best way to do it.
You are not ending the relationship, sort of putting it on hold.<p>So, I ask that you respect my request to minimize contact with each other to issues involving our children only.
Need to explain this more.<p>All other contact you feel you need to make that does not deal directly with my children should be directed through a third party. We can use either your parents or my father to relay messages or use my email address at work. Since you do not have internet access at this time, you can contact BF and have her forward any messages to me.
There should be no other contact. There should be no one to relay messages from/to her except concerning the children or if she wishes to end the relationship with om & do something about the marriage.<p>I thank you for the times we had together, I can not even imagine someone else making me feel as special as you have. I will carry the memories of our brief time together forever. I pray that you have success and happiness in your future endeavors
As JL said, this sounds like a "have a nice life, we are through" letter.