S&L you are really generalizing here. People get used everyday, in everyway possible. You are assuming that anyone who is involved in an affair is no madly in love with the other person, thereby not in love with their spouse. I find that to be bullpucky myself.<p>The other woman and myself were guilty of having sex. It was not a love relationship at all. I had no feelings for her, why should I. You say you are a man. Are you telling me that in all your years you have never had a one night stand with a woman from a bar? If so, were you in love with her? Did you marry her? Your puritanical view of affairs is far different then what I was involved with. It was just sex. Nothing else, nothing more at all. I did use her, just the same as she used me. She was looking to get out of her marriage and I was looking for some fun. We both were well aware what was happening. To say that I only say that to make myself feel less guilt is far from the truth. Nothing will get rid of the guilt I feel. I think it is hard for people to read what the truth of affairs really is. People using each other. I was used as much as she was, and we both knew it. My wife and her husband are the ones who were hurt here. I make no defense on what my actions have done to my wife or her husband. <p>I don't know if you were in an affair or not, but it's not all love and roses. It is lying and sneaking around. Sure, we were nice to each other, we never fought, (what would there be to fight about), but it was hardly a relationship based on deep feeling and trust or admiration. I am speaking for her side too. She knew as did I that this was nothing more then quick sex. A diversion from life. It was nothing more.