Ive spent alot of time on this site in the past week, and have got accustomed to the lingo and abbreviations. However Fog And Fogese have completley baffled me!! Could someone please enlighten me?

Hi Scared,<p>Let me take a stab at this one...<p>"Fog" is the term we like to use to describe the altered state of mind that all WS tend to exhibit. After all, they are in an addictive situation, and addictions have psychological roots. Fog is a pretty good term. Why? Because it can both clear up, and thicken, often unperdictably. So for example, sometimes my WW warms up to me (when the fog thins), and sometimes she's a b**** to me (when the fog thickens).<p>My situation may be slightly unusual. My WW admits that she has a certain "callousness" towards me that she can't seem to control. I think she'd love to get rid of it, but she's having a hard time doing that. That's the fog - that callousness. Most WS don't seem to acknowledge that they're in such a state, so as I say, my case is a bit unusual.<p>"Fogese" is the term we like to use to describe many of the things that WS SAY when in the fog. Given that their minds are operating on a different plane from what we'd normally expect, some of their comments can be downright - strange and/or hurtful. Some of my favorite fogese from my WW:<p>"I know I could be happy with you - I just don't know if I want to be married to you."<p>"I know that you're the BEST for me."<p>"Well, if I go and I'm miserable, at least I'll be getting what I deserve."<p>"I love you, but I'm not in-love with you."<p>"You and OM would get along so good together."<p>"I want both of you." (Variation: "I want it all.")<p>"I just got to a point where I said, 'you only live once!'"<p>"You see, being in-love has an edge to it." (her explaining the ups-and-downs between her and OM.)<p>"When I thought about having our kids, I was excited about telling our parents - when I think about having his kids, I'm excited about telling him."<p>Sadly, I have a knack for remembering this stuff. And interestingly, most WS can't recall ever saying these things later after the fog has cleared.<p>We had a thread going here a while back with all sort of great fogese quotes.

Hi scared,<p>Fogese is the illogic that WS, in their confused mental state, use. It seems that the only one who does not see the foolishness in their logic is the WS.<p>Here is another example from WS to BS.
"I want you to move out so that I can see if I will miss you."<p>LOL, if it weren't so sad.<p>Take care,
Estes

Scared, I think my W's behavior is a great example of what "fog" means. She is (or at least used to be) a very smart person, and she always made good decisions for herself. In the past year, however, she has thrown away most of her friendships, weakened ties with her family, lost her position as a youth counselor, quit her church, and eventually lost her job, ALL FOR THE SAKE OF AN AFFAIR with a man who lies to her and cheats on her (and she knows it).<p>To someone like me who has never been a WS, it's almost impossible to understand how a WS's mind works. To quote a post I once read on the DivorceBusting forum, "I've tried to see it from her point of view, but I just can't get my head that far up my a**!" [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>"Fog" is just the term we use to describe the apparent difficulty that our WS's have thinking logically and making sound decisions. <p>Good luck Scared, keep posting!<p>BP