Just thought I'd come on & share some of the good stuff for a change. I went to visit my H yesterday. It was a good (& long visit), I was able to stay for 4 hours!! If you read my last posts, you know he was not in the best of moods for about the last week or 2. He explained that he worries that now I have some one to compare him too. I told him I don't compare him to OM & that if I were to do that, he would "win" that competition. I don't know if I put him totally at ease about that, but talking about it helped. We did a lot of talking, which is normal. We have been communicating very well thru all of this. All in all things went well. We both walked out of the room feeling good. I just hope it lasts for him this time. I can't seem to totally get it across to him, that I love him & really want to make this work. He is afraid that I'll change my mind again (since he still has a good bit of time left to serve). I tried to explain that it is worth it to me to wait for HIM. The person I won't wait for is his "other drunken side". I guess it is just going to take time & lots of me reassuring him that HE is the ONLY one!!!! SO anyway, that was my day!! <p>I do have one comment/question. I worry about the sexual aspect, I mean, he's in jail, we can't do it. I really want to be with him again & he says he wants to be with me. But we have no choice, its gonna be a LONG wait!!! Could this be damaging to our recovery??

Chelle, good work woman! I know first hand the difficulty that you are experiencing. My hubby is wrapping-up a three year sentence and will be home in the Spring. He is incarcerated for various drug violations. He, too, is an addict. And, a wayward husband to boot. His accomplice in crime is the OW. As my momma always said, "Birds of a feather flock together." Fortunately for him, myself and our family, he has "seen the light" and wishes to reform. I've agreed to give him that opportunity. <p>I have anxiety attacks thinking about his homecoming. It's such sweet sorrow! Not only will we have to deal with him having to readjust to society as its known on the "outside" but we will also need to discuss the long-term affair that he had with the OW in order to put closure to the same. And the clock keeps ticking away bringing us closer to the hour of the unknown. It makes my stomach queasy just thinking about it.<p>BTW, my husband is "way" out of state and I've not visited him for a very long time. Just phone calls and letters have been our only mode of communication. And he isn't very keen about writing on a regular basis. I, on the other hand, do not care for the excessive charges for phone calls and try to limit them as much as possible.<p>As you know, prison is very stressful to the inmate as well as to the family of the loved one. I've found it to be rather difficult to discuss important issues such as infidelity with my husband during his incarceration. He has asked that I wait until he is home to discuss this issue and he will tell me everything that I want to know. I'm not too sure that he'll be up to it when that day comes. Therefore....the queasy stomach! <p>You can contact me privately at Jofemme@yahoo.com if you'd like. I've been on this bumpy road for a long haul and have a few survival tips. Be strong, hang tough and take care.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by CHELLE96:
<strong><p>I do have one comment/question. I worry about the sexual aspect, I mean, he's in jail, we can't do it. I really want to be with him again & he says he wants to be with me. But we have no choice, its gonna be a LONG wait!!! Could this be damaging to our recovery??</strong><hr></blockquote><p>
Hi Chelle,<p>You guys will just have to improvise. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>No seriously, think about this. It seems that when you two are face to face things go well but when you're talking on the phone is when things get tough. I'm not saying to sweep it under the rug but maybe limit talking about tough subject matter to once a week or something. All other conversations are about what you are going to do to him when he gets out [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] or family, friends, etc.<p>Chell, since you are thinking about this constantly you should be able to find time to come up with creative ideas, notes, and letters to send him. Maybe send off something short each day then call after he receives his mail. Come up with a masterpiece once in awhile.<p>Just a thought.<p>
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