Hello, I normally post on the P/C board, but felt that I would get a little more advice here, as it doesn't have as much to do with the OC(mine) but with our recovery, and a major change coming up in our lives.<p>Very short synopsis: I had 2 seperate A's the last resulting in my pregnancy. H has had mulitple A's. We are raising Abbi together with our other 2 children, and have been on the road to recovery for just over a year and a half. H posts occasionally as Sailorman59, is in the military, and is currently deployed.<p>Here's the major change. H just got the official word on his orders, and we are moving back to our home state. Yes, that is great news! We aren't going exactly where we were hoping for, but at least we are in the state lines. The advice I need is this, we have discussed the kids and I moving before the next school year starts, to keep our S from having trouble in school like he did when we moved from our home town to here. The problem with that is that we would be seperated, again, for up to 3 months! And this would be something that we are in control of, vs. the military sending him on deployment. I feel that we should stay here, as a family, till H is ready to transfer, and then go all at the same time. <p>I spoke with my mother, who isn't just a mom/grandma, she is also a teacher. She feels that it would be best for our S to stay together, and move all at the same time. She feels that it will be better for our S to have Daddy around, instead of moving so he can start the new school year in his new school. I trust her, and see the validity of her advice. Heck, I was the one who brought up the fact that I don't really want to move 2 months before our transfer date.<p>What is your take on this, especially from military who have been through this stuff before. And, how should I bring it up with Sailorman? I don't want him to feel that I don't trust him, because that is the last thing I am feeling right now! I just want to be WITH him, especially after this 6 month deployment. If we did move early, we will have only had about 3 months together after he gets home, before we would be moving. Also, he will be going to a short school for about 6 weeks after we transfer, so there would definately put our seperation up to 3 months! I just want to bring this up to him in a manner that doesn't seem like me whining or not trusting him.<p>I don't know if this really makes any sense, just had to ask if you think I am doing the right thing, and how to bring it up.<p>Thank you for any advice you can give.<p>Tigger4jdt

Tigger,<p>Stay with your H. I should recall but don't right now, but I recall that your son isn't into HS or even Middle school. Your S can adjust, but it is much more important for your marriage and the family in general to have every one together. Your life with the separations is hard enough, don't make it harder on you, your H, or yes, the kids.<p>I moved a lot as a kid, and I survived. However, having a father gone was tough. I grew up in the military.<p>So hang in there with H the full time. I think your Mother is right. He will do fine and better with full family support.<p>God Bless,<p>JL

Hi, <p>I'd like to send my support and agree with JL. <p>My family moved around a lot when I was growing up. It is important for the family to stick together. It may be hard but it will be hard either way. <p>Hugz,
L.

Thank you, JL and Orchid, for your support. I have felt that this is the right thing to do, just needed to see that others, not connected to us, agree with my feelings. I haven't talked to Sailorman about it, as we don't have a regular schedule for when we can talk, and I don't really want to breech the subject through email. He should be calling in the next few days, and I think I will just mention that I am feeling this way. <p>Thanks again.<p>Tigger4