I thought I would post this as proof that recovery is possible....to those of you who don't think they are.......my WH was one of the notorious cakewalkers....and I was very very close to giving up on him.<p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well...I finally get to say that my H and I are truly on the road to a good recovery.
Both of us at first would ask each other this question....are we going to make it?
We asked that of each other on almost a weekly basis until about a month ago.
Now we KNOW that we are going to make it.
My H is doing everything possible to gain back my trust and show that he loves me. Accounting for his time, brings me flowers at least once a week, doing alot of family things with our daughters.
The only thing that we don't seem to have enough of is ALONE time...unless you count being covered from head to toe with oil and grease from helping him change engines in his truck.
By the way.....H says that is very sexy....LOL....NOT!
We were discussing this last night. I was telling him that I was feeling a little down because we haven't had the time or the money to be able to go out...just the 2 of us. He said he could tell that I was down about something....and asked me if that also got me to thinking that he wasn't as into recovery as I had thought he was. I told him yes....that it had crossed my mind....but I had put it to the side since I knew we had so much going on lately and knowing that we didn't have the money to go do anything lately. He said that he was glad that I had gotten myself to the point where I could think about things before I acted on them.
Anyone that has ever seen my earlier posts.....knows that I'm one of the Queens of LB's.....LOL....never able to keep my mouth shut about anything and acting on things before I really think about them.
He went on to say that he was amazed at how well I've been able to handle everything so far and how far I had come...and the changes that I had made in myself....for myself. He had always been worried before that I would never get over what has happened in the last year and that it would ruin our recovery.
I asked him what was different this time......what made him so sure that he would never cheat on me again....he said.....because I've changed...you've changed....our whole relationship has changed....it's not like it used to be...it's so much better now....and I couldn't ask for more than what I have now.
That is how I'm sure that it will never happen again.<p>I had been a little down lately.....had been looking for a job myself....after not working for 11 years.....but my H and I have come to the decision that it would cost us more than money for me to get a job. He knows that I wouldn't be happy with having the girls at a sitter with no more money than I would bring in on a weekly basis after paying the sitter. So...we've decided that I will hold off for 2 more years....until they are all in school full time.
This brought me up a little and brought me down a little. I explained to him that it makes me feel bad around Holidays like V-Day because when I'm buying him something I'm using the money that he earns.....he giggled a little and said....don't worry.....it's OUR money....I do it for US....not for me. This made me feel much better. <p>So...anyway.....that's my update.
I can honestly say that I have gotten myself to the point where I don't even think about my H's A but maybe a few seconds out of my day and I've learned how to put it to the side and not worry about it anymore....alot of that has to do with the way my H is acting and the things that he is doing to prove to me that he is in this 110%.
If someone would have asked me 6 months ago if I thought I would be where I am at now....I would have said......ARE YOU CRAZY????
