Hey all.<p>Last Sunday I finally asked my wife if she still loved the OM and she said "It can never be", which for me means yes. Rough couple days of Plan A but today she again pressed "what is on your mind/what is wrong" she continued to press until I told her I cannot get past her still being in love with the other man. I said I feel you have been stringing me along for 10 months and if she still has those feeling that she should go for it. She said today that "no I am not in love with him"?????????? From Sunday to today a NO??? She said that her feelings were not real and that should not have any thing to do with our working things out???
Help me here.
I am now after 10 months looking to start Plan A over again???
She also said I don't want to tell you the A was my fault because I don't want you to hate me. She also said that when she saw C 9 months ago he said she had low self esteem and she laughed at him. Today she said she has a "ton of it."
What is the best way to proceed over the next week or so.
I want to do my best so please help.
Thanks
Jim

I think a common thing for a WS in recovery is "confusion". Souns like your wife is trying to sort things out, both with herself and her relationship. I think thats normal make sure you dont overreact badly to things she says or else she may not feel comfortable talking with you and you may not have true communication.<p>As for starting plan A again? Why stop? Plan A is about improving yourself and meeting her needs. Both things for the most part it should be things you always strive for.<p>Hope things improve.
-HI