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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 232
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 232 |
Why is it that my WS seems to hold back affection in general. She will give me small hugs before one of us goes to sleep or leaves, even a small kiss, and even intimacy on occasion, but her whole demeanor seems so sullen and distant. Is this normal. ? How do they come out of this and is there anything I can do to help ? Is anyone else in this kind of situation. You know what I miss, I miss the hugs, I miss the hand holding, I miss the closeness. I never thought I ever here myself saying this, but that's what I miss the most. How about you ?
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 877
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 877 |
Mark<p>Hey---I am there buddy...right down to the "I never thought I would ever hear myself saying this, but that's what I miss the most." <p>Yeah, I think it is normal.<p>No, I don't know for sure what to do to help, but I think being patient and understanding is a start. I don't think you can pressure them or push them toward that.<p>A lot of us BSs are in the same boat...of course that doesn't make it any easier, but maybe someone else has a grand idea of how to make it better, or at least tolerable...<p>Good luck <p>E
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 785
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 785 |
Yes to everything. Yes its normal (though I dont know where you two are in the recovery process)Those things come from love. If your WS still feels love for the OM or not in love yet with you, they will not come naturally to her. Yes, I know what you mean about missing hand holding, hugs and closeness. When they are gone, you start to realize how much you took the little things for granted. <p>Hang in there Mark, if you are plan A'ing keep at it. If you arent, why not?<p>-HI
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,086
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,086 |
I fantasize a lot and picture my future with a man who likes making out, passionate kisses, and all the other physical affection my H has never seemed to be interested in. Why he'll put in the time and effort "making out" with me down there, but neglect prolonged mouth-to-mouth kissing and holding is a mystery I've never been able to figure out, but I intend to have both, and if he doesn't want to provide both, then I'm sure someone will come along who will, and then I'll be more motivated to get out of the M than stay in it.<p>Been banging this drum for more than a decade now, so surely he's heard me and simply does not care. Now I don't either.
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