I know I never would have...<p>I can't believe I have been doing this for a year...one-year D-day anniversary is tomorrow...yeah the day after Valentine's Day 2001, (and an exchange of thoughtful gifts) my wife dumped the OM story on me out of the blue...<p>Since then I have cried, pleaded, reasoned, listened, argued, talked ('til I was blue in the face) and pretty much all the other things BSs do...<p>Since that time I also have read, (books, online articles, and more posts here than I can count) gone to counseling (together and alone), lost weight, gained strength (physically and emotionally) and tried to get up and face each day as best as I could.<p>Since that time my WW and were separated for five months, back together for five months and now have been in our second separation since the beginning of the year.<p>I still try to get up and face each as best I can. (And Still I Rise--Maya Angelou)<p>I am not sure what's next...I still love my W and hope and pray each day that we will be able to go forward with our relationship...<p>I still breathe in and breathe out, put one foot in front of the other and take one day at a time...<p>One thing I know for sure, I would not be in any shape to continue without the great support I have found here...<p>Thanks to you all I have enough insight and strength to continue...I hope it all pays off...<p>Thanks and blessings to you all. <p>E

Elad,
I&#8217;m sorry to hear that &#8220;it is that time of year&#8221; for you and it has been 1 year. Unless we can stop the time, we know that we still have to face the music. But like you said we should take it one day at a time. I&#8217;m doing that even though I would like to think ahead. I&#8217;m a planner. I love to plan and see the future. I want to set my goal and work toward that but it is hard to do when your partner is reluctant to participate with you. <p>For me, it is my 2nd d-day anniversary and I have not seen any major improvement in term of our relationship. I have done what you have had, except the separation. Maybe that is what I have to do to feel for it or at least my wife can feel for herself what it would be like to live separately. Maybe that is the magic wand that I&#8217;m looking for.<p>Anyway, take care of yourself and &#8220;the day&#8221; will soon pass and another day will come along. Someday it will pay off. But then who knows?

OOOO<p>I am a planner, too and this is really hard because everything is put on hold....<p>"Man plans...God laughs..."<p>You just never know what is going to happen, do you? <p>E

Elad,
One thing you can count on, time will pass, even though there are moments...nights...that last forever, the next thing you know, it's another season.<p>I barely remember last Vday, the one before was pretty memorable, the one before that was horrible. This one my 16 year old daughter had her boyfriend over to cook him breakfast this morning before school & is cooking for the family & him tonight...and all I can think is of when she was my baby! When did that time pass?<p>You can go ahead and plan things, perhaps just differently than you would wish to.<p>Have a great day [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hugs Elad...<p>My thoughts and prayers are w/ you...<p>Cali

Lor, Cali...thanks [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]