Hey Honey! Wishing I could be with you and you w/me. Missing you everyday. Incase for some reason younever recieve another note, e-mail, letter or card from me, please put this one somewhere very safe! Wall locker, or something. Iknow that even if we do not spend the rest of our lives together(because of ur circumstances and issues we currently have) that the way we feel for each other will live on in our hearts! It will mine. Although truley dissappointed, to be without your love, touch, wnd sweet kissesand much more. I will always remember and always love you. Just know that. This card can be destroyed but our memories cannot...Not even old age will allow me to forget you. If I recieve alhtimers disease I hope I will go back to my youth, to today, and see you before me and dream of you LOL but I won't die old! I'll die a soldier! If we do go on with each other I can only simply sayy....I would (and I know this) be eternally happy! Loving you very much either way we go...
Love, Sugar<p>The card says
I wish I could collect the perfect words, place them in your hands, and close your fingers around them...so you could truly know.

It sounds like she wants him back and is using everything she can to get him.<p>It also sounds like they have talked of being together, many times this is discussed in an affair. *If things were different, if , if, if...*
it is usually dreaming out loud or pillow talk.
It also sounds like she is threatening to cut contact with him, maybe just to see his reaction with the " In case for some reason you never recieve another note, e-mail, letter or card from me, please put this one somewhere very safe! " remark. Notice she leaves the door open for her to contact him again.<p>Do you know if she is in contact with H ? Has he seen the card ? Do you know if he has responded at all ?<p>I'm not here much anymore so I don't know your story, are you and H rebuilding ? <p>More questions than answers , I'm sorry.

Deb...I have another post here, Please Answer me..... That should shed some light on things...I have some more scattered over the past few days also.
Thanks for the reply!
Prayers for ya!

Deb...here is the link.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=015573

ANY MORE INSIGHTS ON THIS? I will only be here for a few more min...then a root canal...Ill be back at 12 to read up!

Sounds like she wants her butt kicked....

Believe me I wish I could. But does anyone see the uncertianty in this...maybe that it is dying? Or is that just wishful thinking on my part? Very Well could be.

I definitely think it's a dying dog! But she just won't let go. Has he told her it's over, you think? Can you/did you ask him about the card and what it means?

I'm here again...which you are probably thinking 'oh darn, there's that harsh one again'. Sorry about that. I guess I have just learned to say what I think, right or wrong. <p>Well, as for me when I read that card, I see uncertainty on her part as to where their relationship is headed. I see someone dumb as a stump to think that she can have someone elses husband. I think she sounds scared that she is losing a grip on him, therefore, that is why she made him commit to plans way out in the future (March, as you stated in you other post I answered earlier). I see an insecure woman, which is your opportunity to show how *strong* you can be. This woman is talking about always having the memories, that when she is old she will still hold your husband in her heart. This woman is a nutcase.<p>I see a window of opportunity for you. If this bimbo has to talk about memories she will hold in her heart, about how she will always love him, it is obvious that she is scared. You need to show your husband your strong side right now. You need to take a stand for your future. Don't get nasty with him, but you do need to show him you mean business. Do not allow yourself to appear weak for one minute. Stand firm in your disapproval of any plans being made with this woman. <p>Wouldn't it be nice if we could all have everything, that if we wanted to we eat a whole cake and not gain an ounce. We could rob a bank, have as much of the money we wanted, and have the bank say "no problem, keep the money". We could go to a car dealership, choose whatever we wanted and have them say "take it, it's yours". Guess what, sooner or later we all have to answer for our actions, we can't have everything we want and your husband thinks he can.<p>So, as I said earlier, I think you have a chance here to save your marriage. But, only if you can muster up the anger and the strength to stand up for yourself and tell your husband it's you or it's the bimbo but he has no time left to sit on the fence. Hold strong to your convictions that he can not just decide to make plans with her and announce them to you. Like I said earlier, she made plans with him so far out because of her fear that she is losing him and she wants him to commit to her for something long-range. <p>Again, sorry if I sound harsh but your husbands behavior ticks me off and I don't even know him. Although, I wish I did so I could shove him off the fence he is sitting on. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]

I understand sandman1988. Really I do. I will be back after my Root Canal to see what you are all up to...I probably won't post...but thank you for being honest.

I say follow the advice of SAA (if he has not seen it). Tell him taht she sent a card and let him decide if he wants to read it. Tell him you have and that you would appreciate it if he simply threw it away (without reading it). If he agrees, you throw it away (shred it) so he is not tempted to go back later and read it.<p>If he is trying to break contact with her, he should definately not read it. At the same time, you should be honest with him that she sent it and that you read it.<p>This is a good oportunity for both of you if you chose the correct course of action. You can show him you are honest and understanding of his situation (without anger) and he can show you committment to no contact.

Still a few min b4 I have to go. I saw it in our 4-runner. It disappeared. I knew where he put it. I read it. He has no clue. I know it was dishonest and I feel guilty, but I can't tell him
about it right now. I don't know why.

Faith_n hope_
what i think as well is she is loosing her GRIP on him,and she is running scared. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] (ow) sounds like she is also about ready to give up on (h) by that i mean of what she said if u never get a nother e-mail from me or hear from ect. (ow) to sounds like she is tried of fighting,why else would (ow) say if u never see a nother letter from me or a e-mail make since??? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] and as far as your(h) not knowing u read the card i would keep it at that for now, u don't want to mess things up when they are soooooo close,somethings are better unsaid u know what i mean? ofcourse that is only my option here. hang in there girl. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Cathy

I hope you are right Cathy, I really do. I kinda thought that is what I saw...but wanted outside opinions...I think I will sign off of here for now...I kinda feel like I have worn out my welcome and I need to think. Love ya all and thanks. (by the way...i haven't ever been this messed up since all of this started...I just thought you all should know. I just found an outlet I haven't had)

So is Cathy on to something here? My feelers are drugged and tired...Up for 36 hrs. have to stay awake for D. So some guidance wuld be great...I need to know info so that I can see how I am going to be, I hope you know what I mean....I am tired of waiting for it to die...but if it seems close I will wait..if not plan b may come sooner than I want.

So waddya all think...he is with her right now...I for some reason am not mad...just numb...the natural death?

Sounds more like a desparate OW who has just started taking the 'senior moment' pill to combat her memory loss. Hm..........<p>You know she appears to be trying to cover all her angles. Why? Because she doesn't have a 'hold on him' or at least that is it appears she is thinking. <p>These OWs get very creative when they are losing their grip. You may even get one of those phone messages with the OW accusing the WS of commiting 'emotional adultery' because he went back to his W. Hm....... that really happened.<p>JMHO,
L. <p>JMHO,

Thank you Orchid, That really happened? How shocking!!!!I hope that she is losing her grip and closr to throwing in the towel. Yet here I am @ 2 am and no H.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Faith-n-Hope:
<strong>Thank you Orchid, That really happened? How shocking!!!!I hope that she is losing her grip and closr to throwing in the towel. Yet here I am @ 2 am and no H.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Why do you think H is w/ OW ?. Where did he say he go to ?. I did almost lost hope at one point until I saw OM and the condition of A. It hurts me when my W leaves to sleep outside home and I have to hold my tounge too. Today, just before we left for Fresno, my W cell ringing several times. Since my 2 D and I at home, W just turn the volume off. I smiled, I think WW will tell OM that her battery is dead. She didn't even return the call yet. OM LB'ed to my W. I am sure that W didn't like OM to call home at all and he knows that this weekend is a competition weekend, black out unless she call him. I never call W while she is out at OM ... my pride.<p>[ February 16, 2002: Message edited by: redhat ]</p>

Redhat...he said he would see me tonight...they didn't have any set plans. I wouldn't even know if my jaw hand't woke me up with pain. (the had to dl it to get to the root canal) I just hope she is getting tired and the signs I see from him that are so promising means that I am getting closer to the liget at the end of the tunnel.