A friend has recently challenged me about the idea I am facing about remarrying. My WH doesnt want me, so does this make me a free woman? I thought it did but now I'm not so sure. Craig Hill has a bit to say on the issue. Does anyone here have a conviction on either way? I know it all comes down to me and Gods truth...so what is it? Is it really an individual thing or is Gods truth very clear on the issue? <p>AH<p>[ February 16, 2002: Message edited by: angelheart ]</p>

AH,<p>It is clear that adultery by one spouse is justification for the betrayed spouse to end the marriage. Looking at it another way, adultery is a form of emotional abuse. It breaks the spiritual bonds between the spouses. Once the A occurs, the marriage vows have been rejected by the WS. The BS has not broken his/her vows by seeking D. The vows are already broken, and not by the BS. He/She is simply carrying out the legal termination of the relationship which was shattered by the WS's decision to forsake his/her promise.<p>The BS is not bound by scripture to remain in a M that has been broken by adultery. If the BS chooses to stay and attempt to build a new relationship, that is his/her choice.<p>Best wishes,
Estes<p>PS: Dr. Laura Schlessinger says that Godly justification for ending a M include adultery, addictions (drugs, alcohol), and abuse.<p>[ February 15, 2002: Message edited by: Estes49 ]</p>

Does that mean Ive been living in a contract committment, not a covenant, where my committment is dependent of the behaviour of my spouse, and therefore is conditional? Doesnt marriage reflect Christs relationship with his Church...we are unfaithful and turn away at times...does that mean God can give up on us depending on how we perform?<p>AH

A very challenging question for me... 10 months after my divorce was final.<p>A few thoughts...<p>If one takes "adultery" as a valid reason for being able to remarry (not just divorce... but remarrying)...
...what is to stop any spouse from "allowing" themselves fall into adulterous realtionships... so they can "get a way out of their bad marriages"???
...or for that matter... after the "adultery"... say... "oh yes... my spouse (or I) had an affair... so I can remarry"!<p>Is "marriage" for you a covenant... or a contract?
Contracts are about agreements of exchanges of goods/services...
Covenants are about familial "kinship"... about understanding God Himself being familial in essence-a family within Himself... and carrying that through the marriage covenant...
And that means "ovenant"and "oath" are practically interchangeable terms. <p>Maybe a little more colorful...
"The difference between a contract and a covenant is practically as great as the difference between prostitution and marriage."<p>The oath is what transforms a contract into a covenant by bringing down God and interposing him between the two parties. God becomes judge and provider. He helps us if we open ourselves to it and he judges us by what we do and say according to our oath. The oath transforms the contract into a covenant. A covenant doesn't exchange property; a covenant exchanges persons. <p>------------------------------------------------<p>Now for my dilema...<p>...where do I stand...
...when I know my xW will never come back to me!<p>Her (Xw's) pride (in never admitting fault) will keep her from ever coming back to me.<p>Am I to remain celebate the rest of my life...
...or veiw that as a gift to my God?!
...in honor of what He says the marriage covenant is?!<p>I debate this more with myself than anyone else.<p>In turning away from God...
...it doesn't mean he will turn away from me...
...it means He permits the natural consequences of my actions to lead me away from Him!
...it's my choice!<p>The greatest gift... of free will... will not be taken from me...
...but how I use it... and apply it... will decide the result of my most important relationship.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jim/NSR

Even God will divorce us if we push him far enough. Look how many times Israel broke the covenant. God would give them over to their lusts and allow other nations to plunder them. You can read of God's grief as a betrayed spouse over and over in the Old Testament. Also, in Revelation you can read about the final divorce. To the disobedient, he will say, "I never knew you."<p>Jesus was very clear in Matthew that adultery was grounds for divorce. Later on in the New Testament, one of the apostles notes that deserted spouses are not under bondage. As soon as a spouse cleaves to someone other than their spouse, the one-flesh union has been torn asunder, and I believe that at least the innocent spouse is free to marry someone else. The BS did not break the covenant--the adulterer did.<p>I have mainly only looked at this from the BS's point of view in that I felt that I and my current H were free to marry each other as we were each the BS in our previous Ms. I guess it will be up to him to figure out if he is entitled to marry someone else should I divorce him. Personally, I think before anything else he needs to repent from the adultery, whether we remained married or not.

I do respect other's opinions...
...and hold only myself... to my own beliefs.<p>I wish only a stronger relationship with God...
...for those of faith.<p>Realizing that that relationship is of primacy...
...has helped me to grow... and come to peace.<p>Check out a couple of lengthly previous posts...
FA: I found my bible...&#8230;..K&#8230;..7/21/2000
and
What the early Church said about conditions for divorce&#8230;..SpiritofHope&#8230;..5/9/2001<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jim/NSR<p>[ February 17, 2002: Message edited by: NSR ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Does that mean Ive been living in a contract committment, not a covenant, where my committment is dependent of the behaviour of my spouse, and therefore is conditional? <hr></blockquote><p>No, I don't think that it means at all that your committment is conditional, that it is dependent on your spouse's behavior and therefore you have been living in a contract committment rather than a covenant. As Conqueror said:
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>The BS did not break the covenant--the adulterer did.
<hr></blockquote>
Sadly, in practical terms for the future of the M, it matters not that the BS maintains her committment to the marriage covenant. As unconditionally committed as she is, the covenant no longer exists because of the choice of the adulterer. You can't have a one-way covenant.<p>So, dear angelheart, you are as Godly and committed as ever, but the covenant is simply no longer there. IMVHO, God knows who broke and who maintained faithfulness to the marriage covenant. Again, as Conquror has reminded us, the Bible tells us that in certain circumstances, God has freed us to go on with our lives after D.<p>Take care,
Estes