I posted earlier -- seeking advice -- and have another question. I am trying to get over this OW -- event though it never developed into a full fledged affair.
I find that was is holding me back are the thoughts, the feelings that I am losing something. I know it was total fantasy, not real at all.
I need to work around this women on the project for six more weeks. What techniques have any of you used to move on. I feel like I am in high school, hurting because I broke up with a girlfriend. It makes no sense, but I still think about her. Not as much as I used to, which means I am getting better.
Do the thoughts finally go away? Does the ache?

They will go away, but not until "no contact". Also, I would strongly suggest you seek IC to get you through this. It gives you someone to talk to face to face, plus you are able to hash out why you had the A in the first place. Secondly, the IC helps you to heal yourself - that is a big one.<p>You will be carrying around an enormous load of shame and guilt. It feels like a rope around your neck. It can be suffocating. It is so easy to give up and continue with your old life style. But is that what you want? It is so easy to just cut your losses and run away. But is that what you want?<p>You need to stand up and see yourself. Look at others around you who are affected by your actions. Do you want that hanging on you as well? Do the right thing. Find yourself and do something about it. Make your life something to be proud of and not something to be ashamed of.

What is IC. You are right about many things. I am basically a good man

hi MM ~<p>If you can't change your job right now (which is ideally what you should do) and you can't establish no-contact....then what you need to do is make yourself accountable to someone else for your actions. An individual counselor or a marriage counselor would be a good way to start.<p>Your emotions won't change until you establish no-contact.