Hi, everyone! I would like to introduce myself.<p>I'm Selket. I'm 29 years old and I have been married for 11 years. My husband and I have a 10 year old daughter. <p>Several years ago (about 6) I had an affair. To my knowledge, my husband has never cheated on me. My affair lasted for over a year. My husband knows.<p>I've worked VERY hard at "owning up" and "facing the music" and really struggling and getting to the root of my problems...(or at least the ones that convinced me that an affair was the right thing to do).<p>I'm part of the Redbook bunch and I posted on that board for over a year. <p>I don't know if y'all are open to cheating spouses (although I think you are). I came here to share and learn and y'all seem to be a very good group.<p>
selket

SEL<p>Glad you're here.<p>I know that you originally began posting when you were so upset about your Mom and Dad .... I'm just wondering how you're doing with that?<p>Pepper/Yesterday

Welcome to MB...<p>Yes... all are welcome... ESPECIALLY those bent on marriagebuilding...<p>WSs (wayward spouses) and BSs (betrayed spouses) both post here... I will be honest to say that we are probably easiest on repentant WSs... WSs which still seem to harbor resentment or 'blame' BS may find other BSs posting angrily toward them...<p>All in all honest, forthright dialogue is encouraged. We can be a tightknit group... some mistake it for exclusivity... it is more likely just a time when everyone is overwhelmed by life and just can't post to everyone... ya know?<p>Anyway... welcome... we look forward to learning more about you and your groups' stories.<p>Cali

Oh, Pepper/Yesterday (can I just call you Pepperday? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] ) <p>After I posted I completely forgot to share the reason I was actually looking for an infedility board in the first place. I've been reading on a thread that specifically addresses children who are affected by adultery.<p>Just to let everyone know.......July 4, 2000, my family and I were at my parents house when my mother picked up the phone to place a call. (this was one week before their 30th anniversary) What she heard was my father leaving a message for his OW. I was there....she insisted I SIT RIGHT THERE as she confronted him. He lied...of course. It was terrible and it was one of those memories I wish I could just erase. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>So, I set out to find information on infidelity to help my mother and that is how I came across the other board where I was posting.<p>Yesterday, to be honest....being in a different environment and reading different posters has brought up alot of feelings I thought I no longer had. Not only about my father's affair, but about my own. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Right now I'm pretty depressed thinking about all of this. Not only that.....but it seems that the rebuilding "honeymoon" phase of my marraige is over [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] ........what next? <p>Thanks for bringing this up, Pepperday, I realize that I was becoming stagnated in my recovery and now I KNOW I have sooo much left to work on.<p>sel<p>[ February 16, 2002: Message edited by: selket ]</p>

Thank you, Cali. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I am the last WS that you would call unrepentant. I do not blame my spouse for choices I made. I accept full responsibility for my decisions.<p>I am extremely intent on rebuilding and improving my marriage.<p>Thanks again for the welcome.<p>selket<p>[ February 16, 2002: Message edited by: selket ]</p>

Hello Sel, [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>It's good to see you. I'm thinking that MBs might well provide us all with an opportunity to re-examine feelings that perhaps we've set aside during our struggle just to maintain a voice at iVillage. <p>I know that reading the messages here I've found myself exploring many of the emotions that I thought I was done with, had moved beyond. They're still there though. I still feel like slapping people upside the head and screaming WAKE UP! you're hurting people. <p>And maybe too, as Pepper made mention to somewhere, the recent turmoil on the other broad has triggered old feelings of anger, a sense of being stifled and left out of the loop in a situation that negatively affects MY life, my future. <p>Enough of that. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] Glad you're here, Sel. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Sel my darling ...... Marriage-building is never-ending ...... I am also aware that I have work to do ..... on myself.<p>You are right where you are supposed to be .... be kind to yourself, you've been through so much in your life.<p>Right this minute, Mr. Pepper and I are listening to a radio show that is an AA meeting ... see below.<p>We're going to be busy tomorrow, I might pop in here after church.<p>See ya later.<p>Love,<p>Pepperoni [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>
Steppin' out 12-step radio

Hey riffraff! I totally agree...I think that I too see that H and I need to keep moving forward...even if slowly, so that we don't go the other way again. I think that maybe this site will help us even more than the other since it's focus is marriage building. We used to do plenty of personal growth posting at the original women.com site, then it slowed down after we moved, and I noticed it slowing enourmously after enfant and some others left. Does anyone still talk with her? You spose she'd come and play once in a while yet? I'll have to get my story together so I can post it, but it may take a week to do, LOL! Have a nice weekend gang, and all!

Hey Cali!!! The four agreements! Awesome book! Have you read any of his other books? After I finished the first I purchased the companion book and the mastery of love. Unfortunatly they're in a pile of other fabulous reading-to-do! Still have to finish Passionate Marriage, Self Matters and Relationship Rescue. Maybe I'll get on that today...maybe. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi Selket,<p> Welcome to the site. <p> You are correct. We are open to cheating spouses(WS-Wayward spouses). Especially those looking to repair their marriages and themselves.<p> We do have a small group of WSes that do not wish to repair their marriages. From time to time we go at it....hehe. However, that(in my opinion)doesn't make them bad people. I have learned much from a couple of them.<p> I hope to learn from your experiences as well. Maybe I can give just a little insight from the other side. <p> Again, Welcome to the site.<p> jd

Sel my dear!!! Looks like we both made the trip, so to speak. This may take a little getting used to but it seems like a good place so far. Oh, I found a few "newer" pics of Maggie and will scan them and send to you soon. Gotta Run...house hunting again. Love ya!<p>Elf