Hi... <p>I noticed your distress on another post... I don't know your whole story... I don't think I have posted to you before...<p>Please remember that the attitude and words of a few do NOT reflect the MANY.<p>I have learned to review the posts and take what I need and discard the rest... just like when I am talking to my colleagues and friends...<p>Please do not leave based on a couple of posts that hurt your feelings... there are so many members here who have supported you over the past weeks... <p>Cali

Hi Faith just wanted to say same as Cali, dont leave the boards in anger there is so much help to had here.
I dont know your full story but i can see your pain and we all know how that feels.
Please continue to post im sure you wont regret it.
Take care.
Liz

FnH,<p>Cali is spot on...I didn't see the post that offended you and that led to you wanting to leave the board. We're all here to help each other as best we can...<p>Cali, good advice, good post...<p>- Freddy

FNH, please stay!!! Some of us are praying for you and want to know the outcome of those prayers. I know you are very vulnerable right now to feelings you might not otherwise have. Be strong as you have been up to this point. The important thing is you. Contribute your energy to your marriage and if you have time, visit us and let us know how things are going. I know you are an inspiration to others. Perhaps God wants you here to help draw others to Himself. If you need to go, please go so you can do what is best for your family right now. But, if you can stay, we'd love to have you. I also am writing because I couldn't find the offending post and am hoping it's not something I wrote because I used you as an example in one of mine. If it is me, let me know and I will try my best to explain, because the last thing I want to do is offend. I do intend to say things that will hopefully help others think, but not offend. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

The offending post was mine and I'm sorry but it is the way I feel.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=015605<p>I don't like watching people in vulnerable states being taken advantage of and that's what it feels like to me. I would bet if we could see the ip info that you'd all see that she didn't leave but only changed her login name. She doesn't have to leave, I will go. I'm too jaded to be of any help to anyone. Luck and happiness to you all and may you never be taken in by the devil in the guise of a friend.

totally-lost,<p>God knows our intention and no one should leave, this board is for all people including WS to seek refuge and try to save M. We make mistake to include our feeling into judging of others but the most important thing is stay focus and give our opinions. Like you say it is evil work try to separate us from our support system. I was called just the other day by HurtTired of "abusive criticism" on TrailHorse's post. We just a lay person trying to help. NO LB'ed even in this board.<p>Faith,
Do not despair, there are many that will lend ear to you. Please, all of us need the support here ... reading your good bye post bring a sadness in our heart. I feel like a failure to take care of one of our own.<p>[ February 17, 2002: Message edited by: redhat ]</p>

TL (and everyone really)
Hey, what's going on? One last stab for the road? Even if she is wrong (and I think you are just mistaken, I didn't read anything like that in her posts, but I am very new here), she still deserves to be treated as human. I even think that about the ow in my situation. I would like for you to stay also and think that you probably have insight that others might not see. But, you've got to lay down the sword. We can't be civil if we're always "up in arms" over silly stuff like thinking she's got her 5yo up at 2 am. My kids wake up in the night sometimes. Besides, if the 5yo is up (which that's not what she said), then what business of it is yours? We all have choices to make. We can challenge someone to change, but not judge them if they choose a different path from us. That's God's place. If this makes you angry, I'm sorry. I think I used respectful words. If I didn't, please let me know and I will retract. I am hoping to challenge you to take a breather. Identify areas you might be wrong and then come back. Yes, I am defending her, but not for any reason than I think that you are mistaken. I would defend you too if I thought you were right on this point. You should feel no embarrassment because none of us know who you are. I hope that you understand that we all have responsibility to each other. We cannot judge what's true or untrue. Rather than judging a person and choosing not to post to them, we can post an opinion anyway for those who are lurking here. You are right though that others should be truthful and ask for help only when needed. But, you cannot truly judge who those people are. And, you should not call someone a devil, just because you feel they are. In that, you are wasting everyone's time. Weigh what they say against the values you embrace. I am upset that this is happening, but not with you. I feel that it's almost inevitable that this should occur. I also think that we must fight our impulses. Speak only truth (what we know is true). We should not attack based on a feeling that something is amiss. If you don't understand, then state that, but don't assume that you know best. (Disclaimer: if I am off-base, then just disreguard this and I wish my humblest apologies to you.) I hope you will reconsider leaving (FNH also). I haven't read much of your stuff yet (maybe I have but haven't really absorbed it yet), but I'm sure you have helped others. For me, you helped me to realize that I have a true desire to help others who seem more vulnerable than myself.

What kind of person do you think I am totally lost? So far I see that I am a bad mother and devious!!! I am still here, same name. <p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=015605<p>You know we/I have enough on my plate w/o being judged as a bad mother and in need of serious counseling; without even knowing the facts...how dare anyone, including myself ever judge a mother without proper information! I posted so much because it was new...and things just started to happen at the same time...forgive me for wanting information. I am sorry for the most part everyone else has been kind to me...but that just blew my mind that someone would say such a thing. <p>FnH

This is one of the RARE times that I have come here on the weekend....and I can't believe what I am reading!<p>First of all....we have no right to assume anything about anyone!
Second....even if someone thinks that we are a bad parent etc....we DON'T have to explain ourselves to people that we do not know....and don't know our whole story.<p>I am a parent of 3 daughters ages 11, 5 and 3 and I remember being up at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 a.m. with them during my H's A. WHY?
Because....my daughters knew that something was going on. Rather than tell them to go back to bed.....I took it upon myself to resolve the issue so that they could sleep better. If I would have ignored it then and just sent them back to bed then I would consider myself to be avoiding the fact that my children had issues that needed to be dealt with.<p>We ALL at one time or another have gone through a period were this board was our lifeline to saving our marriages and our sanity and I am a guilty party also in posting numorous amounts of posts in one day.<p>After a time of going through this and being a BS you do get a numbness and your emotions are drained and all you are looking for is answers....hence....posting multiple posts in one day......answers, answers, answers. We hope that someone on this board will give us that answer.<p>Before we all jump on a bandwagon and start accusing someone of being something or possibly not being something.....we should look back on what we ourselves have been through and then maybe we can understand what most of the newcomers are going through.<p>JMHO