Background: I have been with Keith since October of 97, he cheated on me within a month of us meeting, I didn't stress about it because we had not gotten serious, but I did call it off for about a month when he called to get back together. Same year he cheated with same girl again and other)s) whose names and specifics I don't remember. It was summer vacation from college and I was in another town with my family, when I went to visit him I saw pictures of other women in his album, nothing nasty just women. With a little snooping guided by my intuition I found used condoms, victoria secret underwear and a gift and card from a female all in the trash. He blamed it on his friend who had been staying with him over the summer. I believed him. That fall I moved in, was told not to answer the phone as it may be his mother and father (preacher) and they would not approve. We are in the fall of 98 by the way. Things are okay even though the phone rings off the hook and women leave messages. He has female friends just like I have male ones he says, we are in college and both know a lot of people. Okay I say, but my gut tells me he's cheating. He comes home late from work, but he works at a mall that closes at 9-10, he is working on a promotion at a jewelry store and is staying late with his boss. There is a girl on campus who makes a point of picking with me or coming around and I suspect he and she have something going on. FF to spring 99.
He gets the promotion and now works extremely long hours, quits school completely. I cheat on him while still living in his house it lasts about a month. I tell him and he confesses to oh about 7 women. I find out I'm pregnant, I know its his because when I cheated the other guy never could finish, he had problems (reason it only lasted a month), but understandably he doesn't think its his. We get an abortion. Right before this I had moved in with a friend but he still came by and took me to work(at the same mall) and took me out from time to time. I also moved into a motel for a couple of weeks, he was there the whole time, he payed for the room for two weeks, and we just lived there (even though our house was blocks away). I moved in with him again and then we got the abortion. Weeks later I moved out again (at the time I had my 3year old with me), it was summer vacation again. I found out he had began a relationship with a girl from one of my classes, he was still sleeping with me and I went berserk, I went to his house and broke all his stuff, cut up his furniture, cut all cords, broke all glass and cds and movies. Flooded the bathroom and left. He came by that night mad as hell. We had a fight in roomies apt, and messed up pretty bad, didn't break anything but he poured can corn on me and dish detergent, pepto, everything he could find. Yes we were immature and young. Roomie was called by neighbor and asked us to leave, he agreed to give me a ride to take my daughter back home, it was time for school to start. He then asked me to go with him to check out another school an hour + away because he was thinking of moving. He had been fired from good job and so was I. The next day we took daughter home and took the road trip. <p>In the new town he decided to look for an apt, so we did. He registered for school. We went back home to get money together and move. I went back to friends house. He comes over one night and friend has neighbors boyfriend over, he's a friend of hers, not with me just there. Well Keith comes over and gets mad cause the guys there and drives off. I later find out the girl he had been seeing agreed to give him the money for the apt but was planning to go up with him so he couldn't take me, therefore he came up with excuse not to (I'm cheating with the guy). I move back in to his house at his request, and keep all the furniture and get a temp job to make money until I go up there with him. I visit him often and one time I run into the other girl, she comes out half asleep in his tshirt and we confront him. He weasels his way out but only because we both chose to go back to him. I find out he's been driving her car an hour and a half in the middle of the night to come see me (now I know why it was always so late). Months later(mid Nov) I go up to see him and she calls that night. Didn't know we were still together. He take phone off hook, says she is psycho. Next day she calls again, and he hangs up on her, she gets mad and drives up. Finds us on campus and throws a fit, he gets in car with her (? I have no idea) and they leave. She goes to nearest cop and tells cop he has a warrant for his arrest, this is true so he gets arrested. He pays bond and gets out, I in the meantime have campus security take me to his house. Get there to find out she has broken in stolen some stuff (some mine) and broken a window by throwing iron through it. He makes report. She flees town. I am leaving little stuff out but, its all jumbled, I think you get the point. For Thanksgiving we are broke and have little to eat, Christmas is same way. We both get jobs and ff to 00. <p>In Feb I find out I'm pregnant. In March he goes to jail for five days for trouble from the last town. I get pages on his pager from someone I call back and its a girl. He gets letter in the mail from same girl saying she loves him. I think she paid to get him out of jail. She and I worked together at a restaurant, but I don't put the two together, as she is white and we are not, and that was just something we didn't do (interracial dating). Not sure what happened then exactly, except that we stayed together, I never heard from her again until way later. Keith is still in trouble and needs a lawyer, we don't have the money, and he "borrows" it from a cousin because he can't go to jail with baby on the way. I later find out that same chick gave him money for the lawyer, by taking out a loan for him, and he was cheating on me while I was pregnant. After baby is born I go to moms for month and a half. I am miserable, and he comes to get me. I still don't know about Amber (thats her name). But apparently she is still giving him money, he takes me shopping when I come home. She buys him a gold bracelet and a Seiko watch. He says he bought it off a guy who needed some money. He goes to Mardi Gras and Spring break in Florida with her money. Things are fine until summer. I snoop in computer and find archived messages they had together about him paying on jewelry bills and bank note. He says I love you and he has a surprise for her. I email her and we talk and I find out everything, its been a year + for them they met a month after I moved in. She was the one who took him to work and paid all our bills when we couldn't. She knew about me but he told her we weren't sleeping together, and she still wanted to be with him. He said he wanted me to move but I wouldn't. I asked her what his excuse was for not moving out, he tells her he's planning on it and they will get an apt together. For some reason I am mad at her and see it as a fight with her, so I decide to win. I confront him and he says he did it for the money. But he will call it off. I don't hear from her again. Obviously I stay. <p>When our son is 10 months (fall 01) I find out I'm pregnant again. Neither of us is amused. In the meantime I am getting hang ups on the phone. I order caller id only to find out its her again. I ask her why she's calling when she knows hes not home and tell her if she continues I will press harrassment charges. I also get a call from another girl who says she has wrong number. But her name rings a bell as being name on a phone number I found in his wallet once. I had called her back then and she said Keith had only been over to her house once, and they had met at work (his new job). But I distinctly remember her calling one morning at 4 saying she needed to speak with Keith it was an emergency. He did not get up. I realize the voice is the same (the brain is amazing). Anyway I get a job with one of Ambers friends who tells me Keith and Amber are still seeing each other. He denies it. She tells me Amber has decided not to see him anymore cause I'm pregnant again and she didn't know that because he still tell her (year later) that he doesn't want to be with me and we don't sleep together, he's there for his son. I don't know what to believe. It is now Januray 02 and I get another job and guess what another one of her friends works there too. She asks me weird questions that make me question who she is. Keith says shes a friend of Ambers. Ok. Whatever. She never says anything more to me but reports back to Amber what I say about me and Keith at work. I know who she is so I feed her info. <p>I am right at 28 weeks now, I work part time, have no car of my own, and have two kids already. I thought things were great between me and Keith finally. I was happy. Until last night, two women show up at my job I recognize Amber immediately though its been years since I saw her last. The other is vaguely familiar as I saw her just the other day getting out of the car that Keith had been driving alot lately (Henry's car) when I picked him up from work. She is Terah. The wrong number phone call. They tell me that they just found out about each other from snooping on Keith. Amber says she is two months pregnant. She has been with him for two years. Terah has been with him for 10 months. We go to my house where Keith is with the kids. We confront him, he says little. Pulls me into the house to talk. I say I'm leaving. He begs me to stay. He says his problem is money. He is addicted to it and will find anyway to get it. In the last town he stole and got in trouble, this time he gets it from other women. He loves me and I should know that because for four years he's taken care of me and my daughter and now our son, and for that I should consider taking him back. He will get counseling for his problem. He will do whatever I say. But I know him, as soon as I want him to answer questions he won't. I've been here before, and I know he's not gonna change, I've waited and waited. He has been accusing me of cheating for the longest, though I haven't. He told them I was pregnant but he didn't think it was his. He tells me now Amber is not pregnant and if she is its not his. I hate the way I feel, I have so many questions that I know I can never trust him to tell me the truth about because everything he says is geared toward getting me to stay, and if he tells me the real truth he knows I won't. I can't believe I love someone like this. I can't believe part of me still wants to stay. I can't anymore, but why does my heart still want him? What the hell is wrong with me? I have no tears left to cry. And I know its my fault I'm here because I should of left the first time. He left and walked to the park (at about 8pm) I have not seen him since. I guess he went to call and mend fences with one of them. My heart is trying to rationalize what he said about why he did it. It wants to believe him. I have no money, no car, and nowhere to go with two kids and one on the way. Except home to my mother who can barely take care of herself. <p>I know I gave wrong advice on the few occasions that I have posted. I told someone to follow their heart, while my heart has lost its marbles, and I'm going to do everything in my power to listen to my mind. If it can convince my heart that I'm not winning any prize by being the one he chooses I'll be in good shape I think. If my mind can convince my heart that even if he could stop cheating it would only be temporary until he could find some unsuspecting girl to talk into this mess too then I may be alright. But if I lose my mind for just one second I'm afraid of what I might do. Please pray for me, I will surely need it. And I'm sorry this was so long I have alot on my plate, unfortunately I fixed it myself and I have to eat it. Thanks for listening. <p>Bridgette
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