was posting under divorced/divorcing but only getting a couple of replys..so thought I may get better results here.<p>H left feb 1. we have 3 kids ages 21 17 15.<p>We were all in a state of shock...but are now trying to pick up the peices and move forward.<p>I have established from his behavoiour that this is MLC> he has all the signs....love you like a sister...had enough....im not happy etc.<p>H saw kids a couple of times...dinner but thats it...kids didnt want any more...they are very angry with him. and rightfully so.<p>H and I havent talked much at all..just business stuff.<p>Today however was a whole new thing. He called me to see about picking up kids for dinner...told him that was fine...but youngest may not want to go...he said he knew...but would invite him anyway. then h asked me how I was, wanted to know how my new job was...asked for details about it...at one point it felt like he hadnt moved at all....I was rambling on the caught myself..said sorry im rambling he says thats ok...i am listening...then I asked him how he was. Said ok...got new stuff...joked about not being able to put it together.(he never was good at that sort of thing)<p>Explained to me what he got...told him that sounded nice grrrrrrrr
I was pleasant, and we talked a bit about how hard this is on the kids...told him what son told me that he felt it was like he died...explained to H that he was feeling a profound sense of loss. H didnt say anything...told H that we all were gonna take this one day at a time...h agreed, enthusiastically (least i sensed there was a bit in his voice) says thats all we can do.<p>Mentioned to H that "I know this is really tough on you too...." H said nothing., but the sense I got over the phone, was he was upset. Meaning this is hard on him, my guess is harder than he thought it would be. H mentioned he was surprised that youngest didnt want to spend a lot of time with him....but daughter did....he thought it would have been other way around. I had said to him before he left that youngest would be crushed by it....he at that time said Na he will be fine.
We talked a bit more about what H is doing with his time....I asked him, and he said he reads the books I bought him for christmas....said he is happy reading....thats not unusual..it is something he has always enjoyed.
He has no TV, i Nicely offered one from here...he said no, cos he ddint have cable anyhow...so I just left it at that.<p>I went upstairs to tell daughter that her dad was picking her up....she said "that was DAD on the phone....wow, I thought you were talking to one of your friends." I replied that dad and I are cival...she said mom....you were talking to him for over half and hour....I just said I know. Didnt say anything else.
When H came and picked her up...I was dressed nice...to go out, makeup on etc. purse in hand...told daughter that if i wasnt back when they got back not to worry i would be back shortly, after. She looked at me and said, where are you going...told her out...H was standing there smiling at this conversation....she said she would call me on my cell if I wasnt back. <p>H looks haggard and tired....I am trying to put our marriage back together....least trying to leave a door open....but at the same time...dont want false hope...
am I reading too much in to the conversation...it really was a pleasant one....no anger, nothing like that...almost like old friends catching up of each others lives...BUT he has only been gone for a couple of weeks. Trying also to give a sense of mystery as to what I am up to.<p>None of this makes sense to me at all....one minute he doesnt want to be near me...the next its a phone call...that HE initiated the conversation, I offered to end the call but he continued and i let him and listened.
It all just feels so strange....I have felt from the beginning of our life together that we were soul mates...and it still feels like that....
I am also wondering if the phone call is a starting point for him to feel out where I am at...whether I am so angry at him, that I wont talk to him at all about anything, I just dont know. so much of MLC is soo off the wall, its hard to define or figure out what is going on here.
Anyone out there...have any input as to what this is all about. I am really confused.
thanks
