Well - WW moved into apt over weekend. Kids have been back and forth a couple of times. WW was miserable most of weekend, but was better today when I saw her for all of 5 mins. Not sure if that means she saw OM or not.<p>I don't know how long I am going to be able to take this. I walk into that place and stay a few mins to drop off kids and say goodbye to them. It kills me to see this apt setup like a home - pictures, and all. I want her here where she belongs. I guess we all don't get what we want though.<p>I have no idea how I should be treating her - haven't talked to her much since she is there except to discuss when we each get the kids. I just want to grab her and shake her for what she is doing to this family. How many lives she is affecting....this is the second night I am alone in the house. Can you tell it is affecting me?<p>DD<p>d-day 7/01
M - 12 yrs
Know each other 20
3 kids (9, 7, 4)
WW moved out 2/02

Hey there, DD...<p>My WW's been away in Europe on a conference for about 10 days now. She's e-mailed twice and left a message on the machine. Beyond that, I've been on my own. So yeah, I guess I'm getting a taste of what might very well be around the corner for me too...<p>For me, it's actually been something of a relief. I almost dread her return in some ways. I started off being very preoccupied with thoughts of this mess, but it's gotten better with time. I wish you strength.<p>I'm almost kind of happy to hear that she was miserable on the weekend [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] . Must be a sign that reality is starting to rear it's ugly head for her. Given more time, I think it'll only get "more real". [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi,
not real sure what to tell u. i do understand the pain tho. i have been hurt over and over so much myself just feel like what's the point anymore. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] i do think i will try and call a councler and try and work on me. maybe that is what u need someone that can help u deal with your hurt and pain. i a'm sorry for this is all the advice i can really think of at the moment. as my head is sooo messed up. but i saw your post and had to give u some kind of advice. try and hang in there i know it is super hard. Cathy

bump - more advice please

Remember to read the detaching with love post and maybe even the 12 step post, and pray pray pray.<p>It is so terribly hard to deal with, but God will not let you languish in the pain forever. You are not the one making the bad choices.<p>It's impossible for us to know exactly why God allows these things to happen, but He will give you the strength to get through it. Especially so that we can be there for the children.<p>I know that I would not be able to get through another day without God's help.<p>Sadly, the WS blocks out or tries to detach themselves from the pain they are causing others. My WH thinks that as long as he doesn't mention what he is doing to others that no one will be hurt. I know othe feeling about wanting to snap them back into reality, but the truth is only they can work their way back.<p>I have to believe that we will be the winners in all of this even though it seems our world is crashing down around us.<p>Maybe your WS will get a good taste of reality living alone. My WH lives with parents and his sister's family in the same house, so he has not had to face real life yet. It's not going to be as freeing as he thinks because he can run from me, but he can't run from himself.<p>Hang in there. It does get better. K

GIC - Thanks - where will I find those 2 posts? <p>It is amazing to me how one person can affect so many lives.