How do you (gently?) draw information out about the A's, about what happened and where we go from here?<p>My WH said OW#2 "just happened" and now reading Pepperband's response to regretting, that I should be getting more info to deal with.<p>This whole thing is REALLY hard to do. It hurts. Big Time. But I am beginning to see the wisdom of doing so.<p>My WH says he is not going to leave me for OW2, It almost was like he was saying that I should be releived & leave it at that. WH lives out of state near OW1 OW2.<p>He told me the reason he left (almost 3 years ago) that he didn't want to deal with the conflict. That we were 2 very different people (true) and had very different ideas on how to raise kids, how to keep the house, and how we each spend money.<p>I am trying to take to heart what he says and see where I have contributed to our problems. It gets frustrating as well because I feel that I am being blamed for everything. He did say that It was my fault, that I brought it on myself. It takes 2 working on a marriage to make it work. Yet, I do want to make improvements where I can.<p>Here's an issue that is critical right now - Our teenage d (just 16) is starting to date. WH said that he had backed out of any child rearing to avoid conflict on our different syles. He's the tough guy & I'm the loving one. Right now I need and our D needs his input. I feel that what he has to say is usually good, he just is too controlling or harsh. I'm not sure if I should talk to him or not. He asid he had wiped his hands that he thought D would get pregnant or do drugs the first chance she got because she had been so sheltered.<p>It's easy to feel overwelmed (and I do) It's tough rsing kids as a married "single" mom. It's hard to keep the house up and the yard. I feel resentful that I have been dumped on and lef to do all this on my own.<p>One of my biggest EN's is conversation. I really want to be able to talk situations like these over with my H and come to common ground. <p>It's easier when he's gone. I feel more at peace. When he's home, there is turmoil. The kids get mad becuase he is controlling and not respectful of them. Yet I'm thinking that we have to go thru this conflict stage to get to the good stuff. <p>Any thoughts?.............
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