Hi:
Although I see so many similarities in everyone's stories, I'm wondering if any of you were in my situation. My H of 11 years left me 5 months ago...and moved right in with OW. I was stunned, did not see it coming, thought we had a great marriage, etc. Not sure how long the affair had been going on, but suspect about 6 months. The difference with me is that because we don't have kids, we have had virtually no contact in the past 5 months. He has shown no ambivalence, says he wants a divorce and claims to be very happy with OW. The only time we talk is to discuss financial matters, and he is very tight-lipped about anything personal. He has completely shut me off, and shows no signs of coming back. But everything I've read (books, websites, stories) says that sooner or later, the romance will wear off with the OW and most of the time they want their spouse back. Am I in denial thinking this will happen? I'm starting to panic because we meet with our attorneys tomorrow to discuss the division of assets - yikes! I guess like many of you, this has been so hard to comprehend because we had such a respectful, loving, fun relationship - I thought he was my best friend. We rarely fought, traveled a lot, and were laughing most of the time. It's hard to believe I'm dealing with the same person. Sound familiar? It's his complete shutting me out that has me baffled and wondering...is it truly over? My instinct is to have my attorney stall the process as long as possible without my H knowing that that is what I'm doing. I'm a little nervous to see him tomorrow as it has been months since I've seen him. Any thoughts?

there is nothing wrong with stalling as long as you can. what do you have to lose. <p> when you do see your WH no LB's

Limu,
This is my take...<p>You cannot MAKE him to something he is not ready to do and to manipulate the situation is probably not the best idea. Right now the only that you CAN do is something about is YOU.<p>I know this is probably not what you want to hear. Unfortunately there are no easy answers or solutions.<p>You must do what's best for you. And understand that he MAY or MAY NOT change his mind. You cannot predict the future. You must deal with what is presented to you, what is in front of you right now.<p>Prolonging the situation will probably not help you, either as a individual or as a couple. <p>He may see you as a "problem" if you start to try to control his actions by prolonging something he has requested. I am VERY sorry for your pain and I know this must be incredibly difficult for you. You must look at all your options and then think of the consequences/results for each one.<p>Do what's best for you without trying to manipulate the situation. That's really all you CAN do at this point.<p>With much love and concern,
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