Last night my H was supposed to have the kids for an overnight visit in KC. He picked the kids up after school and was supposed to take the kids to play basketball, go to dinner and then bring my 10 year old home, because she didn't want to spend the night.<p>They never showed up. At 10 my oldest daughter got off of work and called up there to see if they were at his apt. (I am not supposed to have any communication with him.) They were there...and he didn't even bother to tell me. The kids didn't have their clothes for school, or toothbrushes---and I had bills and taxes and stuff waiting for him too.<p>The reason they didn't come by the house after school is that he had is girlfriend with him the whole time. He took my little kids to play basketball with her, they went out to dinner, they all slept together in their 1 bedroom apt. This morning he drove them back to our town and brought the whore into my little kids schools. He told the kids not to tell me.<p>He must be stupid!!!!!! I am so upset...I can't stop crying. Does the betrayal and deceit ever end? In our court order it states there is supposed to be no one else in the apt when the kids are there....I am really hating this man now. He was also drinking when the kids were there. I am so sick and tired of his behavior. I hate him!!!! I have to run...sorry I am venting...but gosh, the pain never ends.

Document everything! Contact your lawyer to see if the kids have to be allowed to be at his place at all. This is truly some alien person. The dishonorable and deceitful behavior leaves you at a loss of words, don't it? There is no rational explanation for their choices. Try to be calm and figure out a way to use this situation to your benefit.<p>Take care, Estes

miserynmissouri,<p>I second Estes ... I would try to get full custody based on the incidents like this. Don't be sorry to vent here, there are many ears and lurking eyes willing to listen.

Dear Estes and Redhat...<p>I am trying to be calm....but my friend just called and said he is at Kyle's basketball game--which means that she is there too. I don't know if I should go over there or what. I am afraid i will explode if I go over there. I forgot to take my Zoloft this morning and I feel out of control.
I can't believe he did this. I want to beat him over the side of the head. My head is just poundinging. I am so sick of this. I really hate him. How dare he do this?<p>I did call my lawyer and the kid's lawyer. They said he is in contempt of court. What does that mean? I don't want him to be around my kids....he has really blown any trust I had left in him. I don't know what I should do....I will take any suggestions.

No, no, don't go to the game. You are so upset right now that your emotions might win out over wise choices, and you might hurt your cause. Let the courts handle H's breaking the court order.<p>I don't know for sure about the contempt of court except that your H has broken the rules of the court in you D case. He has broken the law. Your lawyer should be able to petition the judge to prevent H from seeing the kids except at their own house. <p>You might consider asking your doctor for some anti-anxiety meds to tide you over this. You have every right to be hurt and angry. Just don't damage your case by blowing up at H or OW. <p>Did you go? What did you decide to do?<p>Take care,
Estes

Unfortunately, I have seen contempt of court many, many times where the judge did nothing. I have also seen violation of probation where the police and probation officer did nothing.<p>But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. You do need to document everything, and you can seek a modification of the custody and visitation order to supervised visitation only based upon his contempt of court and violation of the original order. You may get a Judge Judy type and get lucky. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Or you can violate the order yourself by refusing to allow unsupervised visitation, and then if he didn't like it, it would force him to seek relief from the court, in which case you would definitely need your evidence and documentation in order so you could defend your actions as being in the best interest of the children. Sometimes an unmotivated noncustodial parent won't bother to fight it though. It's a crap shoot.<p>Have to do a disclaimer that this is just based on my experience as a party in various court cases, and I am not an attorney. So consult your attorney for your best course of action.