Well, it has been about 3 weeks since the no contact. H has changed alot. I hesitate to believe it but he seems to be waking up. We have been getting along really good - spending a lot of time together. But I am afraid something is going to go wrong. This seems to be happening too fast. I am afraid we will just go on without really addressing the underlying issues that led to the problem. It seems like that is what he will want to do. We have acounseling session on Friday, and I would like to talk about it then. But I am afraid. Any advice is appreciated!!!! [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

IMO, it's not very fair to your H to throw a whole lot of issues at him during your counselling session. You should confront your H on your feelings first. No surprises, remember? (it's in SAA as part of the recovery plan).<p>I totally understand your fears. I felt the same way when my H and I started into recovery. There had been more contact with OW#1 (via phone and email) for 3 weeks into our recovery. But the changes I could see in him once it for sure ended, were AMAZING!!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>The only thing I can think of mentioning to you, is to remember that the A is NOT the problem you and your H need to work on. Yes, there are questions that you need answered to close the issue. But the A itself isn't what needs to be worked on. (I know you didn't mention anything about that, but I sometimes need to remind ME that the A isn't the real issue, just the reaction to the issues).<p>Do you know what some of the underlying issues were? Have you been working on them? You know, all of those supposed 'little things' really do add up a lot before you know it.<p>One more point... isn't it amazing how much MORE difficult it is to enter into recovery than it is to deal with the A? VERY different feelings are involved, but recovery somehow, seems all the much harder. <p>Karen