Something interesting happened today. My wife is closing the shop she oversees as part of her job, so today was the day to pack up and prepare for the movers. <p>She said she needed to be there to help the staff clean and stuff - which I understand - and it would mean hours of us being apart. Please understand that every past contact with OM since I have been back has either happened at this shop - or was facilitated through the shop and staff. OM is friends with her staff and he knows he can call there and talk. And chances are he will be told when she is there by the staff. OK here is what I suggested to her:<p>I asked her to let her staff go home and that her and I would take care of it together. There isn't much stock left and it was a job her and I could easily have done together. Her doing this would go along way to show me things are different to her, she's not the same manipulating woman. Anyway, She gave a whole bunch of reasons for that not happening - such as "Let the staff log in there hours, they need the money" So I told her to log them as having been there but let them go home. Then she said "BillyBob (not his real name) wanted to pack - he feels good about moving because I gave him more responsibility." This is BS? I may be born yesterday but I was up all night. I said nothing to that because I really didn't want it to devolve any further and end up a fight, but I know it's crap. <p>Since then I came home and she promised to call often and reassure me that everything was ok. She phoned me once and sounded like she didn't want to be on the phone with me, like she was acting for the benefit of the staff. I phoned her and again she was quick to get off because she is busy. The busy I can understand, the not sounding right I can't. Before this screwed up A she would never speak to me in any way other than to express love. Since, when I phone her at work she sounds different - says different things to me, acts differently. <p>Here's the thing. Her staff know OM, and OM is very in love with my wife. I got to be a greased monkey to not know he is asking about her and telling them to get messages to her. Also I know when she is with her staff a girlfreind of hers is talking to her and setting up the old WS ways - you know how this goes - "why don't you just leave him?" "You don't seem happy anymore" and all that crap!!! Happy, what a concept!! I wish I could just be happy again.<p>So should I read into this not having me at the shop as anything? Futile question cuz I already am. It would have been easy for her to let her staff go and have us do it; in fact previous to today in our plan to keep us together through this tough time - we came up with the idea that I help her close and she let her staff go. So I have that feeling again and I know my gut hasn't been wrong yet. In fact my gut is creepy it's so spot on. I am going to ask her for the phone records of the shop but even if his number doesn't come up he could have used another phone - she could have dialled another number to reach him. So am I assed out here or what? <p>Can anyone here get with my WS and let her know there are things she should be doing to protect my feelings now, and things she could do to show me that I can trust her again? I've read many threads wherein the WS has been far more cooperative and understanding of her BH needs. Mine are simply not being met. Today is a major step back in my trust department. I've spent the last two hours thinking one thing "this will never work, we are not going to make it." Even if nothing was intended by keeping her staff there and letting me be home - the notion is now in my head, running me nuts. HELP!!???<p>What does this look like to you guys? Please help.

Footnote: She just phoned and asked me to come in that NOW she will tell the staff to leave. She spent three hours there and NOW she wants me to come? God this SUX!!!<p>If somebody could swoop in here and give me respite from this dibilitating suspiscion - I will buy them a Ferrari when I get rich.

well, IMO you got it pegged just right, the om was there, or on the phone, end of story...there is no credible reason for not having you there, in fact she should have been enthusiastic about it...sorry.

sure go on in, the damage is done, but what the hey...just keep it to yourself, plan a, and don't start any fights.

How did she seem when she called? Could it be that she thought about how you might be feeling over the past three hours and felt bad and decided to include you? Better late that never? Just some things to think about. I know what it is like to wonder and it stinks! Your mind starts thinking all kinds of things that could or couldn't be true but you can't seem to stop the mind from thinking. Well all the thinking in the world is not going to change what is happening. So just be prepared, good or bad. But don't alwasys forget the good. I think sometimes we (BS) seem to spend too much time thinking about all the bad and the good can slap us in the face and we can't see it.<p>Hang in there and go help her.