The subject pretty much said it all. If you have a opinion about internet porn, plz share. I would like to hear both male and female opinions.

Yes, I have an opinion about Internet porn. Here it is:<p>"Internet porn is men's revenge for modern feminism."<p>And if we dislike all these modern problems, marital and otherwise, maybe Ted Kaczynski was right after all and the only solution is Luddism. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

I personally do not object to it. I don't mind the movies at home, or the magazines either. And I sort of put them all in the same category. <p>I DO have a problem with INTERACTIVE sites where you can talk or chat with others. But just regular ole stuff, no problem!

I may be in the minority here, but I particularly like erotic stories, which are in abundance on the net. My Wh also does. We've also "experimented" with other forms of porn as well. In my opinion porn is bad when it is replacing the spouse. This did happen when we first got married....WH would look at porn instead of coming to bed with me, and that HURT. I believe I was doing the same thing during the few months prior to and during his A. We now have an agreement that we do not do anything sexual unless it is with eachother, that goes for porn, masturbation, whatever. We save the energy for our relationship and boy does it make a big difference. Also come to find out that WH resorted to porn because he was too embarrassed to bring up certain "fantasies." I have always been the aggressive one, so I was taken aback by this since I have been trying to get him to be more sexual for YEARS. Anyhow, most of our problems stem from LACK OF COMMUNICATION. It's amazing how that ONE thing effects ALL aspects of marriage and look where it got us! Communication is sure a doozie! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Any secret in a marriage will give some pain to the other partner. When I found out that my H was replacing me with the computer images of much younger women, the pain was horrendous.
He has promised not to look at this stuff and I belive that he has not, but the pain is still around. I realy do not enjoy SF any more. after all I can be replaced with a computer.
This is a problem.

My WH and I had a discussion on this earlier today. I've been trying to figure out what bothers me about his porn use and I came up with this:

• He spends our $$$ on it (once spent $50 for cable movies in ONE month).
• It leads him to his infidelities.

<p>I typically wouldn't mind a movie here and there (with each of us watching) or on occassion looking at nude pictures on the computer, but I have found he does it in excess (movies and internet) in secret (at work or at home when I'm gone). I also found in the past he loved going into smut chatrooms and having on-line sex and exchanging sexual emails to secret email addresses (even frlew out of state to meet one of the women before).<p>So, it's the secrecy and that he takes it way too far!<p>I was hurt on several occassions when I was sleeping in the middle of the night and rather than wake me he would sneak to the living room to watch a play boy channel movie (at $7.95 a pop) instead.<p>I think my WH is a sex addict so we can't have porn around - and I think he may believe this to be true as well deep down.<p> [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ February 21, 2002: Message edited by: Free2BMe ]</p>

free,<p>let me send you MY $125 dish bill for the porn that h watched last month...he thought because we hadn't hooked the phone up to the dish, that they wouldn't charge us. What a moron.

Eddie, Whats Luddism? Is that like buddism on qualudes?
Oh, ya my opinion on porn. Should I give you my preA opinion or postA opinion?
I used to feel like it was ok in moderation. I figured 99% of guys looked at porn, it was a normal thing right? My H and I dabbled on occasion and I was full aware of my H looking at porn on the net. He had no reason to hide it, I thought it was cute and sexxy.
I have since changed my mind. It was not solely due to the affair because H and I had started changing our views when we had our daughter. You know all those XXX girls are someones daughter.
I now feel like it is a personal struggle for me and my H to resist pornography, we are both still inticed by the thrill. I statred talking to H after the affair and was surprised to find he also had been feeling like it was a step to making the affair easier.
It seems like this: lets spice up our sex life turned into what could be more exciting and more exciting. It is never enough to watch the same movie again. The next time you need to try this or that, then your husband thinks a threesome might be nice and exciting. You think - whats the big deal if I fulfill this fantasy he will be happy the rest of his life.... Nope
It ends up with someone getting hurt. It makes the boundaries of the mariage bed blur, you think : I DESERVE to have this or that experience, as long as we keep loving only each other it doesnt matter right?????? Wrong
I think if we had never dabbled in this we wouldnt be tempted to blur the boundaries. Perhaps he would have never had an affair, perhaps he would have I dont know. I can say he also feels like the pornography made it easier to say ok to a sexual incounter that on the surface looked like he just won the lottery, but really lost him enormously.
I dont think badly of others who view/participate in this, I just know its a dangerous road to travel.
I also think it makes men look at women as sexual objects. Lets face it the women in porn do not demand respect and a caring relationship, and in real life Ron Jeremy wouldnt have a chance with a girl he meets at a coffee house or whatever.
I hope this post doesnt embarrass me too much when I re-read it. I just hope it helps someone see that its the little things we allow, the innocent turns that lead down a back alley to destruction.

My thoughts are much akin to WeR's.<p>As long as it is not a replacement (or in exclusion), as long as it is not done in secret, as long as it is not interact, it can be OK. My thoughts would be to make sure it is a shared experience as much as possible or that the spouse is completely aware of it and they know it is not ulitized as a replacement.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by diddallas:
<strong>free,<p>let me send you MY $125 dish bill for the porn that h watched last month...he thought because we hadn't hooked the phone up to the dish, that they wouldn't charge us. What a moron.</strong><hr></blockquote><p> [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] No thank you! I've since put the child lock on pay-per-view channels! I hate doing that since he is an adult afterall, but I'd sure hate to go broke because of his desires.<p> [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

I personally am opposed to viewing porn in any form. Yeah, that's pretty difficult considering what all goes on around us each and every day. But once that line is crossed which line next. Most people here have mentioned most of the objections one might have. But consider this.<p>In one "Friends" eposide, Joey and Chandler are getting porn for free. Anyone that is a fan of the show will know the one I am referring to. Anyway, there is a lot of humor associated with them and their attraction to the free porn. But the last scene, or a scene close to the end, is very telling.<p>Both Joey and Chandler are complaining to each other about all the women the met in the last few days not wanting to have sex with them. They complain that none of the women are acting like the women in their free porn channel. They suddenly realize that maybe, just maybe, their viewing of the porn is messing with their perspecitve of women and thusly how to interact with other people in general.<p>They then decide to turn it off. Unfortunately they turn it back on, but the point is made. Their view of the world is altered by the entertainment they partake of. That is true for any and all forms of entertainment, not just porn. But porn ultimately will cause harm to someone.<p>Other forms of entertainment can be harmful as well, but porn is only there to excite. And if real life is not like the excitement of porn, then one will become an addict at some point. After that, people...real people...start getting hurt.<p>If you want to spice up your sex life. Do it together. Be creative together. Don't be afraid to seem too racy. As long as the both of you accept each other as real people, there should be no embarassment. Of course the operative word here is should.<p>Just my two-cents-plus.
jdb

I think this should be handled with POJA, and each couple's conclusion is their own, but as long as they both enthusiastically agree, then their answer for them is okay.<p>What I have a problem with is that the women usually have a history of childhood sexual abuse, and they end up doing what they're doing because of that. That makes me uncomfortable with it. When I see porn, I tend to see the molested little girls they once were. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

my h agrees this is bad, bad, bad. it led him to the idea that thinking about other women sexually and replacing me instead of dealing with our intimacy issues.