So what constitutes an emotional affair? Where do I find out more on this concept? [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

sosad,<p>do a search under my name (Bellevue)

I define it as an entanglement without sex. My husband met a woman last year (2000) at work, they talked, they took smoke breaks together. I, of course, had no idea. He was unhappy (tho he didn't tell me to what extent)and felt that she truly understood and cared for him. There was some kissing, touching perhaps. And then he left me to pursue the relationship.
(HA HA HA! She was deported immediately.) He claims there was no affair because there was no sex. I maintain that any time you turn to someone else for comfort and plan to build a life with them, that's an affair, sex or no sex. He refuses to admit it but I know the truth.

Mine was primarily an emotional affair. It was only physical for a short time and that was after I had moved out and filed for D. I still realized that the minute we admitted feelings for one another and CONTINUED to feed on that...it became an affair. Planning a life with another DEFINATLY constitues an affair.

Hoping,
Not to throw cold water on you but the fact that it was physical even once makes it not an emotional affair but a physical one, plain and simple. It's like being a little bit pregnant.<p>And we ALL embark on the affairs for emotional reasons---the mind controls everything.<p>[ February 22, 2002: Message edited by: diddallas ]</p>

FYI I'm not hoping, I'm hope4...<p>I am well aware that it was a physical affair. When I say that it was PRIMARILY an emotional one, it's because for almost a year and a half that's what it was. It was only physical for maybe a month. But even while it was only emotional I knew full well it was still labeled an affair and no more "ok" than if it had been full blown physical from the start.<p>An affair is anything that involves two people sharing emotions that belong within the marriage. I think that someone can have a one sided emotional affair. As long as one person is married and has a crush that they are pursuing with another person, even if that other person isn't interested or involved...the spouse is still being betrayed.<p>I wasn't trying to "spruce up" the facts of my situation so as to appear "less dirty". I know the depth of degragation and deciet of my situation...even if it HAD never gotten physical it was disgusting and wrong. I certainly don't see it as having been KINDOF wrong....only that it was PRIMARILY emotional.

Thanks to all for the insight. I am trying to figure out if my W is involved in EA or PA or what. It seems like more and more lately I am getting half the truth. I really don't want to believe that this could happen to me but why should i think otherwise. There is so much crap going on in our marriage that its hard to sort the truth from the fiction.

sosad,<p>There is a website I stumbled across at one time that has an very good article about EA's. I think it's www.relationship-institute.com. Look up articles. It's the best definition of an EA that I've found.<p>sad dad