"BTW I still hold the same opinion that I expressed to you in another thread that you started. And that is, that in the end, your wife's remorse and decision to stay with you validates that you are the better man. She is a free individual that has freely chosen to be with you because you are the better man. Remember that because it's true."
I know you are right Joe and I would say 95% of the time I believe that. Now I'm just working on that 5% thats left and I'm getting there.
Thanks,
Darryl

I was the WS and my ex went out and immediately started his own affair upon finding out about mine. I do know that for me the way he handled it was very childish and just encouraged my negative feelings about him.

dskef and Joe,
My WW said something similar, though she didnt admit that she said it to take some of her guilt away.. I never thought about it like that. NOW it makes sense I think.. it was pretty hurtful when she said it.<p>I had asked her wouldnt it hurt you if I was with someone else, she said I wish you would. because then it would solve our problems.<p>and yes she always said she would NEVER cheat on me.<p>Hmm I think I would NEVER cheat on her too. I hope Im better at keeping that promise than she is, though I can admit to being a little relationship starved, now.<p>-HI

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> <hr></blockquote>Originally posted by TowardsTheFuture
Ack...that probably had nothing to do with the topic being discussed...but I just wanted to get it out <p>That's all right, there, there. You vent to uncle Joe as much as you want [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Joe<p>[ February 25, 2002: Message edited by: justanotherjoe ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by zorweb:
<strong>...Then there is BINthereDUNthat (Member # 10312). She is a wonderful resource for they types of questions you are asking...</strong><hr></blockquote><p>zorweb, are you sure? I'll give it a try. I WAS one of those who talked a big game and then found out how small-minded I really was. I used to ask myself "how could ANYBODY commit adultery????????" Now, I dont't need to ask that question any more. I was being judgmental, but didn't realize it. Now, I recognize my thoughts about "how could they..." as being judgmental... I don't even go there anymore! It's none of my business! <p>I can't give the MM's perspective, only my xOW/OC POV... I can only guess what was going on in the MM's house, cuz why would he tell ME the truth when... <p>Did his wife have a revenge affair? DON'T KNOW! Was he a serial cheater? YES! Was he remorseful? I DOUBT IT! He was probably more remorseful of having to pay monthly child support to me than anything!!! As there was no contact with me or the other child (OC).<p>Now that I'm married would I have another affair? NO! What am I doing to protect myself from MY weaknesses? I follow the Harley advice on avoiding temptation, as follows:<p>

1. Spend all your recreational time either alone or with your spouse,
2. no meals alone with someone of the opposite sex,
3. no rides in cars alone with those of the opposite sex,
4. never tell someone of the opposite sex thay you find them attractive or that you like them and
5. if someone of the opposite sex ever tells you that they find you attractive, start talking about how much you love your spouse.

<p>Escaping the Jaws of Infidelity Part 2<p>[ February 26, 2002: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</p>