Everytime someone else knows, it's as we get closer to marriage death. It's as if I hear a bell tolling each time someone else finds out. Feels like baby steps towards the dreaded D.<p>I'm terribly depressed. Need to not be depressed when I see H at home and I'm not sure I can do this.

Are you sure that the boss knows? Or maybe your H told him? Could be another trick of your H to push your buttons, since all his other tricks are slipping from his grasp! hmmmmmm something to think about, but not too much! You are doing great by not feeding into ANYTHING he dishes out. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi Trying, Thanks for responding. No, he's definitely upset about his boss knowing. Actually, he almost blamed me for telling someone who told someone else who knew his boss...<p>Giving this up to God is the only chance I have...

Hi Trying, Thanks for responding. No, he's definitely upset about his boss knowing. Actually, he almost blamed me for telling someone who told someone else who knew his boss...<p>Giving this up to God is the only chance I have...

T-<p>Unless you directly told H's boss, it really isnt any of your concern, is it? Yes, it is hard to see H in pain, but it was his fault and he needs to be a big boy and own up to his mistakes. Whatever happens is between his boss and him, no one else. Just be ready for some anger being directed at you for this, just don't accept it or react in a negative way.

Dear T, <p>We can tell you not to hurt but that will not of it's own stop it. Try this thought, if U do not know who told his boss, maybe the OW did. <p>What an LB. Hm............could you plant that idea? <p>L.

Terri,
Tough, I know!
Try not to take responsibility for so much -- your DH is of course wanting to shift the focus away from him -- you can expecr it, right? This has been a consistent pattern, right?
He has done wrong & he does not know how to deal with the pain, so he trys to throw it off to others -- ?? Of course he does not want to feel the embarrassment -- He is having a difficult time coping -- IMHO! He's still a jerk right now & that is still his problem!
He is angry & I don't hink he knows why or to whom to direct it and you are closer target many times -- perhaps this a price we pay in making it a safe place.
Peace be with you!
HH

(((Terrified))).<p>You said: "Actually, he almost blamed me for telling someone who told someone else who knew his boss..."<p>That sounds like a little progress to me, although I don't know the whole context, so it might not be - almost blamed you? Before it seemed like he always blamed you, so this sounds like either he is wising up (?) or like you have shown him that you won't take blame for things that aren't your fault, in which case you are to be congratulated!<p>
(((((((((Terrified)))))))))
You said: "Giving this up to God is the only chance I have..."<p>I think it always was the only chance you had, and knowing this fact gives you a better chance. I'm there, too. (although I forgot and tried to do stuff in my own strength again this month and of course that did not work.) <p>(((((((((Terrified)))))))))<p>I also want to second everything LoveHerStill said, that is what I wanted to say and he said it faster and better.<p>
(((((((((Terrified)))))))))<p>And now that several people know, it's going to get around. On the good side of the boss knowing, at least it's over and you don't have to wonder when he will find out. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>(((((((((Terrified))))))))) <p>Over at my house, we are still in the cocoon of secrecy and sometimes I wish someone would find out and put WS on spot. (Like Orchid said, I'm hoping OW will do it and then that will be a huge LB.)<p>(((((((((Terrified))))))))) <p>Oh just one more thing - sadness is probably a very appropriate response to this, so while working to prevent LB's because of it, don't try to talk yourself out of it.<p>
(((((((((Terrified)))))))))