i am at work and wishing I could see it, very badly... also would really like a video, if anyone is kind enough to copy their tape... for less than the oprah price, i will be glad enough to pay for the tape and mailing, please let me know.<p>thanks very much, rmm

YES,
I didn't get to see it either- please post summary!<p>Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't love it like I was hoping I would, and I didn't get much more out of it than I already know (I've done a lot of reading).<p>First couple: He had a one night stand 2 years ago and the wife is having a very difficult time dealing with it. She cringes when he comes near her, they have sex about once every other month only because she feels like it's her wifely duties. He did lay into H#1 (which I did enjoy) about "no wonder she can't trust you, I wouldn't either", etc. etc. Sometime in this did click with me, Dr. Phil said to the wife "you don't need to trust him. What you need to trust yourself to be able to deal with *it* if *it* happened again. He also talked about giving your needs/emotions a voice. Be sure to voice what you need in order to get your heart to heal.<p>Couple #2 - he was addicted to porn on the computer, is this infidelity? This one was confusing to me. At first they started talking about a girl he met online that he went to have lunch with (I don't think this had anything to do with the porn). He (H#2) realized this was a mistake and swore nothing more than lunch happened (1 1/2 years ago). They worked through this. Now he is looking at porn on the computer -they didn't make it clear if he was having cyber sex, chatting with these girls or just looking at porn websites. It bothered the wife. Dr. Phil told him if it's something you can't do with your wife by your side, then yes it is some form of betrayal. Another point Dr. Phil made was "why would you be looking at these sites when your wife was in the bedroom available and in the flesh".<p>Couple #3 - Affair with a co-worker. Should the H be told to look for another job. This is the one I was most interested in and also the most disappointed in. Dr. Phil told the H that he is not being fair to the wife if he is carrying on or still had feelings for the girl. Either stay in the marriage if you want to try to make it work or leave the marriage to go be with the co-worker. That's it on that. <p>So, my friends, I'm sure I missed some points. I wanted to tape it for my H to see, but my son was watching TV in the room with the VCR. I think Dr. Phil is great but maybe was expecting too much more out of this show. Hope this helps!!!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Thanks Lmm5031!

Pretty good summary and if you are interested you can see what happened after the show by going to oprah.com and clicking the link. Pretty interesting stuff and may I say I really wanted to smack husband #3. Gosh what a loser!

The "after the show" clip on Oprah's website is so much more informative. Phil gives some really hard hitting advice and I think makes a really tight point. Too bad he didn't do that on the show. He also made a serious point that you can't work on your marriage with a 3rd person involved. <p>I also liked how he brought up the failure rate of "affairs-remarriage" if your partner ditches you for the OP. That was a good one. And he mentions how you just trade in one person for the exact same problems. <p>Good show but after show clip is the high light

Just watched the clip on her site for after the show. I hate to say it but it was so much better than the actual show. Definitely got more information out of that.<p>Thanks for mentioning it.

I taped it, incase anyone wants a copy. But be sure to check Oprah.com for the After the Show clip. It's almost better than the actual show was.

<small>[ February 28, 2004, 05:06 PM: Message edited by: Nerlycrzy ]</small>

See my original post regarding this---I also have 3 extra copies if anyone wants them.....<p>email me at hurting_mb@hotmail.com<p>[ February 26, 2002: Message edited by: hurtinginil ]</p>

WOW!!! Great "After the show" clip on oprah.com. GREAT!!!!

Yes, that WAS a great show and I'm with TinyDancer that 3rd husband WAS such a sorry loser... Yikes... Sometimes they give updates on the show. I really would like to hear his opinion of himself after he watched the clip and saw how stupid he made himself look and sound.

I can't get the video clip to work. Can anyone summarize what Dr. Phil said to the Cakeman (dipwad H #3) after the show? I really wanted to see more of them but the show was almost over by the time they got to them so Dr. Phil just rushed through it. I have to give those couples credit, I would never fo on national TV and talk about the hell that is an affair. I wonder what H #3's coworkers and OW were thinking while watching that?

Man, didn't you just want to call or write to these poor wives (#3 especially!) and tell them about MB and our forums? "Follow the light...come into the light!"<p>lmm5031---#3 was the one I was most interested, too. For obvious (see my signature) reasons! E tu?<p>My girlfriend and her H haven't been touched by infidelity yet but she loved the show...she sees online porn sites, chat rooms with the opposite sex, pornography, etc. as equating with her H wanting to go to Korean strip bars with "the boys".

Letsee what I can remember about # 3. Dr. Phil asked him if he felt like he "wanted it all". Trevor said "Well, no, but..." As it has been described in other threads, Trevor wants to "figure out" why this happened, and wants a "guarantee" that it won't happen again!!! haha... everyone gasped at that one!!! Well, Dr. Phil basically said something like "why are you waiting to see where life leads you - waiting to see what happens to you? You can decide where you're going in life, and the decisions you're gonna make." <p>Dr. Phil also told him it's very immature emotionally to feel like you can't make a decision... or don't WANT to... like a kid in a toy-store "I want everything!" <p>He also said, "Marriage is like the difference between making the decision to fly a plane or drive a car. You have to know for SURE you want that trip in the plane, cuz you can't just pull over anywhere and get out if you change your mind."<p>He also sorta described the "attractiveness" of an affair. "Your wife loves you and does things for you. She's there for you every nite, takes care of the kids, bathes them, picks up the toys, washed your dam* underwear [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] , takes care of you and the kids when you're sick, and she does all these things when SHE gets sick. So you're at work one day, and Miss Fru-fru (I can't remember what he called her [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ), with no kids or husband to wash their dam* underwear, who got up at 5 am, and spent 2 hours makin her hair all fru-fru... she comes **spinning** into the office. She certainly seems more attractive. But you get into whirlwind relationship, and then reality sets in. She's not always fru-fru, she's not perfect, and even she gets the flu too." <p>That's the gist of some of it... maybe someone else can remember better.