Guess I’m not in a very good mood tonight. Reading all of these posts from people who are trying to repair with marriages without their spouse’s help. And then reading the posts from an influx of WS who are pining over their OP is really getting to me.<p>Why don’t we as a society just admit that adultery is normal and for get about marriage? Why do we beat our heads against the wall trying to get people to do what they do not want to do? We could all just go out and get what we want.. using the dog eat dog philosophy that adultery is based on.<p>The WS’s who feel so much for OP, why don’t they just tell their spouses the truth and be free to pursue as many OP as they want to? <p>As a society, why do we try to build families and marriages just so that they can be torn down? <p>I know that this is just a frustrated vent, but I get so angry and disgusted when I read about a WS who will not tell their spouse the truth and then goes on and says how wonderful the OP is.. The person who is helping them hurt their spouse. I just don’t get it. Guess I’m just deficient in the realm of selfish attitudes.<p>Sometimes I wish I could be more selfish.<p>
Grrrrrr
[img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]

I know what you mean Z... I've been lurking at TOW... not sure why... never intended to post... but have a couple of times...<p>I think lurking there is half the reason I am doubting my H's changes... you start to question... maybe it is some elaborate deception and the rug will be pulled out from underneath you at anytime...<p>...anyway... I hope you are feeling better.<p>Cali

I understand your need to vent. I haven't been reading as much as I used to at one point, so the odd post doesn't affect me the same way - at least not tonight. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>To get on a more philosophical frame of mind, a WS is only acting on their natural human instincts. I've watched different TLC and Discovery Channel programs about the nature of man (meaning humans - grin), and they point out how, basically subconsciously, we have the urge to procreate.<p>What we're trying to do is become civilized. That's a far cry from where we are right now (sad, isn't it?).

Cali,<p>TOW, now there is a place of examples of shinning humanity….. Have only gone there a few times because it hurts too much to see how self absorbed some people can be.<p>
Topie,<p>Yea, things are bothering me a bit lately. It’ s been a rough year for me between the affairs, kid problems, my mom’s stroke. Not to say that it’s been a cake year for anyone around here. The catch about the kid problems we have been having is that they are caused by their mother’s infidelity and alternative live style. Kids who were sacrificed so that their mother could party, take drugs/alcohol and have all the sex she wanted. After all, leave the kids with people who engaged them in the same types of activities… all in the name of ‘mom finding herself’. So now we have one in a mental institute and the other is going to put me there. At least my son is almost 'normal'.<p> Guess I’m at the point that enough is enough. Just wish people would stop hurting each other. Or at least leave me out of it.<p>Yes, it is a human urge to have needs met and to procreate. I know that there is the struggle between nature’s pull and the need for social structure so that we can survive species. But maybe we should just stop expecting more from humans then can be delivered. So at least that way we don’t get as hurt. <p>I think that the reason we do not go that way is that if we expect nothing, then we will give nothing. And if we give nothing we will get nothing. And everyone wants others to give to us. So people make promises that they have no real intention of keeping. Then many people do what they want behind their spouses backs… you know the line “what they don’t know won’t hurt them.” What that really means is that as long as my spouse does not know that I’m s***wing around; they will give me what I want. <p>If promises are meant to be broken, why make them? <p>I know, I’m real cheery tonight… but I really do wonder about this.<p>[ February 27, 2002: Message edited by: zorweb ]<p>[ February 27, 2002: Message edited by: zorweb ]</p>

Hi Z,<p>U still up? Need to talk.<p>Thanks,
L.

Hi z,
Hang in there with your family, you guys will get through it. I believe the Lord has you in those kids' lives to strengthen them because their bio mom is so weak. Let the weight of the burdens on your shoulders roll off and onto Him. He cares for you, for your situation, for your mom & the kids, everyone... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>try family.org and see what resources you can find there. If you want to e-mail me, I have a great book that I got from a court-appointed parenting class. I can have it copied and mail to you. IT'S FABULOUS FOR STRONG-WILLED TEENS! Let me know! <3<3<3

Zorweb<p>Just thought you would like to know that there is at least 1 WS around here that doesn't pine after the OM. I don't think he's any kind of wonderful. I am ashamed and disgusted by my actions. I regret the terrible choices I have made that have caused so much pain. When I think of the OM, what I feel is disgust and disdain for him. He was the worst mistake of my life! I sometimes sit and wonder how I could have been so stupid.<p>Regretting

Z - hang in there. You'll be fine. Maybe this will help - it helps me: I remember a long time ago.......OK, a VERY long time ago, in my High School driver's ed class, the teacher - "Coach"...<p>....an aside here - were the first names of all driver's ed, civics, and gov't teachers back then always "Coach"? Think about it. Maybe this is why the middle aged American electorate is so uninformed!...<p>Back to my point: Anyway, Coach told us that we should aim WAY down the road when we drove. If we kept our focus too close in front of the car, we'd be weaving all over the place.<p>Of course, the message here is to keep our focus on the long term when it comes to emotional things. Trying to steer too closely likely results in over-reacting.<p>Regretting - thanks for being open and honest. Good luck to you.

Dave is exactly right....<p>I keep telling muyself the same thing---keep your eye on the big picture...<p>My problem is one eye on the big picture and the other eye backsliding from time to time....<p>Oh well...i just go back to focussing on the big picture<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>E

Z,<p>"MANY" times I have felt as you, thought regardless of what so many do to thwart this ongoing barrage of Adultery, selfishness and uncaring seem to prevail. It becomes discouraging to ever want an intimate relationship again, I fear I'd be asking for it simply by virtue of dipping my toe in the proverbial dating waters. <p>But what WAT said is so true, we can't see the forest for the trees. We (you and I and all the others here) deal with this day-in and day-out. Eventually it would have to take it's toll on our enthusiasm regarding marriage.<p>Perhaps it's time to take a break from the boards, no?<p>Love,
Jo<p>[ February 27, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

I will probably torture this phrase but it goes something like this:<p>Corruption grieves the hearts of decent people...

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Resilient:
<strong>Perhaps it's time to take a break from the boards, no?
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Nah, maybe just take a big breath, regroup, and always remember your good reasons for being a MBer. Remember your reasons for posting, too. Z--you especially have got to know that many out here are blessed by your insightful input--I am, for one. And I'm talking about the rest of you too! I always love reading what you guys all have to say!