Question;
Wife confessed to afair. She said it was her 1st and only time. Was it? Or should I even care?<p>She stated in her email to her girlfriend that she was only staying around for 2-3 months to save money to move out.<p>Is her apology and talk of working things out only to continue her "save time" and should I just keep my emotions far away from this situation?

Well, I think you SHOULD care...do you love her? It doesn't really sound like it.<p>HOw do you know what she emailed? And I would frankly ask if she was buying time by the apology. You will have a better idea of where you stand if you get some of these answers.

Is there some reason you aren't talking to her instead of going through her email?<p>Can you communicate with her? What prompted you to go through her mail?

Snoop, I read your other posts and there is something I see that is bothering me. You keep saying "Who cares" or "Should I care".<p>DO you care?<p>And as far as continuing to read her emails, ask yourself, what purpose is this serving you?<p>You mentioned you may want to keep the email for a reference as to her "potential" for her to cheat in the future. What is your goal here? Do you want to resolve this with her? Or is your goal to "catch" her in something?<p>There is a difference. If your main purpose is to catch her, then your relationship will be very difficult to mend. You two need to OPENLY and HONESTLY communicate. And you said she confessed to the affair. What happened after that?<p>She needs to be honest but you do too.

Snoop-<p>I am a snoop as well and the opinions above are correct. You need to determine why you snoop. I snooped because I was paranoid (and rightfully so in my case). I finally had to hire a PI to find out the truth (and the PI confirmed my suspicions). I am still paranoid and I feel the desire to snoop at times. I have to resist such.<p>I snooped to know if my WW was being honest with me. To, in a manner, help me rebuild my trust. The thing is, it does not really work. You cannot know everything that is going on by snooping. I currently have access to my wife's email (as recommended in SAA). The thing is, that does not keep her from being dishonest if she really wanted to. I can't check it 24 hours a day. If she wanted to, she could quickly send out an email to the OM and then delete the sent message and I would likely never know.<p>Hopefully, through her behavior, I will really KNOW she is worth trusting again. If I knew better at the time, I would have known that she was not conveying behavior that was honest and worthy of trust.

Thanks Longing, and the rest for your suggestions. I really do care and love her that is the only reason I'm on this site.<p>If I did not love her, I certainly had/have the opportunity to be single again.

And we all understand your anger and confusion. <p>I suggest you read this site a couple of times--and see if you can get her to go to marriage counseling. It could help tremendously.

Sorry, I forgot to say that the most important thing is for her to discover WHY she cheated. Once she does, you will both have a better idea of what to do to help prevent it from happening again.