Oh I forgot this one...<p>Me: Why are you still here, WW?<p>WW: <some babble then says> and I take my marriage vows seriously.<p>
WTF?!?!?!!!?!

Here is a couple of priceless one...<p>I just want a chance to see if it will work out between me and OW...can't you just give me that?<p>AND....(this one is funny)<p>TO OW: Sure I don't want anything to do with your kids, but I'm not dating your kids.<p>
HE'S MARRIED!!!! HE SHOULDN'T BE DATING!!!! HELLO. i SWEAR THEIR FOG IS AS THICK AS PEANUT BUTTER SOMETIMES.

With phone bill in hand showing where he had called a W he had met on-line.
I called the phone company verified the name and number matched the info in ICQ file.
H: I don't know what that is. I didn't call anybody.

It was a phone bill error. Yeah right!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

hehehe... we had a thread like this a while back... These are sooooo funny!!! <p> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'm sure there's many I could think of, but here's my favorite:<p>My H said he was helping OW get involved with church... they were helping each other with their relationships with God... <blechhh> awwwwww.. bless their wittle hearts!!!<p>ok, one more (recent):
We met 2 weeks ago to sign the D papers. He had a cheap silver ring on his left ring ringer. I asked him what it was. <p>Him: "It sorta means I'm attached, but not really attached."
Me: "So... like... an engagement ring?"
Him: "No. It's nothing. Just something I bought myself."<p>blechhhhhh

Oh I have 2 good ones.<p>When I found the first card, a fathers day card. there was no address on the envelope but inside it had H's name as in "My dear Steve". He said he didn't know who it was from and had never seen it before
Me: it was handed to you there is no address on it.
H (after a few minutes): Oh I bet someone put it on my car and they had the wrong car
Me: someone else named Steve was parked in your company lot and drives the same kind of car eh?
H: Yeah maybe so
Me: So how did it get into OUR house?
H: I must have tossed it into the trunk of my car and then picked it up accidentally one day
Me: It says enjoy your vacation and we left for vacation the day before father's day
H: Wow that's a huge coincidence. Maybe someone else was going away then too<p>DUH!<p>And the one from last night, one of my all time favorites.<p>H was here unexpectedly and I received several hang up calls. H can't believe that these calls I've told him about are really happening.<p>H: Wow someone really wants to get on your nerves.
Me: Yes and I'm sure we both know who it is
H: No why would she call you when it's me she wants to talk to?<p>Double DUH!

Me: So what went wrong in our marriage?
Her (WS): You never bought Coca Cola. You only bought Pepsi.

Proof positive that they all are controlled by the same Mothership.<p>My WS trying to explain why she moved out (because she denied having an affair): I had to leave. It was YOUR decision NOT to leave.<p>WS after I confronted her with my observation of her and OM in the airport only several hours earlier - she had picked him up upon his return from a business trip instead of going to a counseling session:<p>WS: It didn't happen.<p>Me: Oh? You mean you didn't meet OM at BWI this morning, gate C-24, US Air flight <flight number> from Pittsburgh that arrived at 8:45 and you didn't walk with him to the luggage claim, stopping at the bottom of the escalator to hug and kiss?<p>WS: (incredulous, staring me straight in the eye) It didn't happen!<p>WAT<p>[ March 01, 2002: Message edited by: worthatry ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Me: So what went wrong in our marriage?
Her (WS): You never bought Coca Cola. You only bought Pepsi. <hr></blockquote><p>No wayyyyyyy!!!! ROFL!!!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

OK I'll bite....<p>Agree with the mothership theory, this post is hilarious.<p>ME: Have you two had sex?<p>HIM: No way! We are doing this the 'right way'
In God's eye's!<p>HAHAHAHAHAHA!<p>ME: (After having sex with him) HEY! You just
cheated on her. And I bet she does the
same to you with her H.<p>HIM: No possible way, we are committed to each
other, she wouldnt cheat on me with HIM.<p>
I wish I had a Polaroid to snap the look in his eyes after I told he cheated on her with me. We never had sex again until recovery.<p>Dara

My last attempt at talking about the state of our M took place 1/30/02. Here is an excerpt:<p>Me: Have you ever given any thought as to what you could or should have done instead of having an A?<p>WS: Yeah, I should have done what I've always done.<p>Me: What's that?<p>WS: I should have just said No.<p>Me: (Remembering the narrative in his own handwriting still in my possession describing how the A began with him asking OW to meet him somewhere) What do you mean?<p>WS: Well, I've always had women interested and I've always turned them down before.<p>Me: What are you talking about?<p>WS: When women would be attracted to me.<p>Me: What exactly do you mean? What incidents are you referring to? (Having never been told of any throughout the M)<p>WS: Well, the whole M, women come up to me and say, "I'm attracted to you. Will you come home with me?"<p>Me: So, you're telling me that you have been propositioned like this repeatedly throughout our entire M and you just gave in this one time?<p>WS: Yeah, well really my whole life it's been like that. I don't know what it is, it's just always been that way.<p>Me: Have you ever given any thought to the situation you are in when this type of thing happens?<p>WS: It just happens.<p>Me: So, for instance, this has happened at church?<p>WS: Mmmmmmmmmmmm.....I'm not sure. I can't remember if it's happened since we've been married or not (implying that it HAS happened, but he can't quite place it on the timeline).<p>I learned four things from this conversation: <p>1. He still can't keep his story straight and maybe forgot that just one month previously he told me in writing that HE was the pursuer of the OW, and now I'm supposed to believe that she propositioned him and he just failed to say No. That is the extent of his insight.<p>2. If I believe this new story, there have been numerous OW, maybe even women I know from church and elsewhere, and I have been cuckolded who knows how many times since for 10 YEARS he neglected to tell me how in constant demand he was. If this scenario is anywhere near true, then SOMETHING took place BEFORE the propositioning. Even in my best Babe days, I didn't have that sort of thing happen unless I was sending signals or at least flirting in some way or in a place or situation which would invite it. I actually have insight into how such things happen.<p>3. My H thinks I'm an idiot and is STILL tremendously disrespectful of me and our M.<p>4. There is no point in pursuing such ridiculous nonsensical nonproductive conversations. They are offensive and just raise more and more questions to be answered just as nonsensically.<p>So that is why, with the cumulative effect of so many of these types of exchanges, I quit talking to him about our M.<p>Is this the only way we can test whether reality has hit them yet or not?<p>[ March 01, 2002: Message edited by: Conqueror ]</p>

I probably shouldn't do this, but I did suggest the materials she found re some of my personal feelings for the ow, were actually the notes I was writing for a romance novel..... (although I do think that might be a good idea)..... and that the ow was collaborating.....<p>look it you guys, we (ws) aren't really nuts, it just looks like it, as we work really hard at coming up with explanations for the unexplainable.... we know you won't believe this stuff, we are just trying to delay the inevitable, for the usual reasons.... but at least our creative sides get a good workout.

WS said to me many times - I don't love you, I love the OW.<p>WS said to me - Why can't everyone let us be.<p>WS said to me - It wasn't sex, it was bonding, getting close to her. (I guess the next man I find to be a friend, I will tell him the same things.)<p>WS said to me - You are a fu*k*ng B*t*h (many times).<p>WS said to me - when his cellular phone would ring (it would be on vibrate), one time it was on the couch and I felt the vibrate. He looked at it, and said "it was the wrong #" Or "it is the sprint people calling to talk about the bill". We weren't born yesterday.<p>WS said to me - when I found money missing out of our account. You must of added it wrong, or made a mistake. <p>WS said to me - the very graphic sexual letters he was writting to his munchkin - I found on stationery he was writting it on, that had this little girl surrounded by a heap of garden vegetables. He said "it is a romance novel I am thinking of writting". Now I know what the garden meant!<p>Could tell you more, but this is so depressing! All these lies from the one you gave your life to.<p>[ March 01, 2002: Message edited by: thinker ]</p>

SNL,<p>The why don't you fess up to being 'far-fetched'? It certainly would cut down on the stress time factor. <p>When H babbles like that, now I tell him. I let him sit in his babble puddle for a while then go back and tell him his pants are wet. H is beginning to acknowledge it. The last time he admitted his line 'patronizing the OW' was far fetched. I totally agreed. See we the BS can be agreeable, it just has to make sense. <p>Don't treat us like we are stupid. Why? Because when we get our strength back, watch out.....you pants might be wet! <p>L.

Two of my favorites are<p>"If you had an affair, I wouldn't need counselling." (he hated spending the $85 a week for marriage counseling)<p>
Mind you this was 1 1/2 years AFTER the affair when we were discussing vacations - <p>WS "you got to take a two week vaction and not work." (I had gone home to my parents when he asked for the divorce)<p>ME "you were screwing my best friend, I am fairly postive you were having more fun." <p>
2 yrs post d-day and recovering nicely

OK, I will succumb to the peer pressure. My husband, between the first discovery and second, said many many things. They ranged from:<p>Husband: "I never stopped loving you."<p> "I love her more than I love you."<p> "I want you both."<p> "It was wonderful but it's over." Can you say LIAR? [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] <p>And the coup de gras?<p> "I had to think of you so I could do 'IT'." Barf, gag me with a spoon.<p>Scarlet

"he looks just like you"<p>"he is just a friend!"<p>"it was only once"

I love it! Great thread.<p>Some of my favs.<p>"She reminds me of how you used to be. You know, before I ruined you by being so mean."<p>"I figured since I did it once I wrecked the marriage, so it really didn't matter how many hookers I called."<p>"I kept doing her to make sure she wouldn't call you and tell you I was doing her."<p>On why he never told the therapist he was having an affair...
"I thought if the marriage counselors and you knew I was having sex with her they wouldn't try and save our marriage."<p>And just last night, even though the divorce was final 2/11...
"Do you think that if we ever got back together you would still hate me?"<p>This isn't fog or peanut butter, this is a layer of shinola that stinks to high heaven!

This was unsolicited ... x-H just decided I needed to know that ....<p>"There is an innocent & virtuous quality about OW, like a child" <GAG><p>OW Profile: 44 years old, 4 children - all diff fathers, phaux breasts installed, Kareoke Host/Career Welfare recipient, part time potty mouth harasser of MM's wives.<p>[ March 01, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

haha, snl admitted to saying something ridiculous while in the fog [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>look it you guys, we (ws) aren't really nuts, it just looks like it, as we work really hard at coming up with explanations for the unexplainable.... we know you won't believe this stuff<p>We know you aren't nuts, that's why we have the "moose-brain worm" and "alien-abduction" theories. <p>You work really hard to come up with that stuff??? We thought the Mothership did your thinking for you!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] <p>And so are you saying is it's easier to come up with a story than to admit you made a boo-boo and make amends?<p>I not fussin', or debatin'... but I think that's further proof of the "ridiculous"-ness of WS babble.... avoiding personal responsibility... [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Rut Roh, I wasn't gonna say nothin, but "uh huh", what Faith said. Sowwy SnL.<p>Jo