Warning...this is a pity party...come dressed...<p>Its not fair!<p>I'm the one, who I think is most "innocent" thru all this who has come out the worse....<p>My WH has what he wants - not me...and spending time with her (EA I reakon but in denial, who knows, its still wrong)<p>OW still has her H (who knows about the A, which physically ended over a year ago) and the pleasure of my WH's company at her place whenever (as friends of course)<p>OW's H still has her (although I bet its killing him trying to keep her happy)<p>What do I have?<p>Nothing...but a load of hurtful memories every day I breathe.<p>Sorry, But I feel so ripped off today!<p>Its not fair.<p>THey carry on their little picnics together - yes, the whole family and him, while I'm at home on my own.<p>Sure, they're probably as miserable as mice. It doesnt make me feel any better. <p>Poor me.<p>Tomorrow I'll feel better, probably even embarrassed I wrote this. Today I hurt so much.<p>AH

I was going to ask you who you were on my poll thread... but I've figured it out! Hooray for me!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] OOPS!! This is a pity party, right? Sorry about that!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>You'll be fine. You know you will. You just don't feel like you will tonight. That's okay. It's great that you're still coming here to vent even after your H found out who you were on here. And I can understand the name change. I would have done the same way back if my H started reading my vents on here, because my safe haven of respite would be gone.<p>How's the little guy doing?<p>Karen

Hi Topie,<p>Howd u work it out? You got me worried or was it too easy? On secomd thoughts, perhaps you better not say how u worked it out in case H gets an idea, then I'll have 2 start again. Gee, you must either really know the people here or researched for a while.<p>The little guy is doing really well, I have been more than abundantly blessed. I wish you could see him, I'm so happy. Although I am careful not to put my whole happiness into him - only God can fill that completely - I do believe that even though I've had to do it alone, he has been my lifesaver, my reason to keep on living and more than that, my reason to live in power and victory. I may have lost one person to pour out love on, but Ive gained another.<p>Thanks for asking.<p>AH

Hi AH --
I will be glad to join your pity party as I am feeling the same myself!!!!! My H is the one who has the A; I live the last four months trying to do what is right while he can't make up his mind what he wants. Now, he is living with her getting all of his needs met, while I am here by myself trying to raise 3 kids alone. I would love to feel happy again, have someone who wants to be with me, etc. But, I don't and you are right -- IT'S NOT FAIR!!<p>Enough of that. Thanks for giving me the chance to vent!

Itsd good to vent sometimes isn't it! I have elt like I've been in a three day long pity party and am working hard this evening to leave it for a funtime with some girlfriends who are coming over . They feel that one of my problems is lack f adult company. Like you I'm raising three boys on my owqn and its a lonely place with lots of hard work. That said I wouldn't be without them. Thanks for the party- Jante

Here is my pity party. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>My WW is at gyno right now getting tested for pregnancy. If she is, it would not be mine.

Ya for me! Wife just called to say test was negative. *wipes sweat from his brow*

I remember some stories that involved a BS being pregnant at the time of d-day. I was preggo with my twin boys when I had my d-day. Those hormones just make it all the more difficult to deal with the situation.<p>I guess, kind of like smokers can find other smokers at a party... I can find the gals who are preggo at d-day, and want to help if I can, b/c I've been there.<p>We've both received 'mixed blessings' having our children to keep up going during the tough times. They're an AWESOME excuse not to be so depressed so that you stay in bed all day, aren't they? Who needs meds when you have a kid in diapers? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Oh, and I don't always remember aliases - for example, I have NO idea what your old one was, but I DO remember the WH still being friends with the OW and HER H!!! OMG!!! That one's burned in my memory banks forever!<p>Take care,<p>Karen

Part of the reason this site is so helpful is that you build a circle of "friends" who understand what you're going through. To have to abandon your identity here, geez...<p>I remember your story, also. <p>I think the worst part of an M falling apart is that you still have those past good memories. And, when they come to you it reminds you of the present situation. I don't think we can ever break those kinds of connections. It taints all of our "good" memories. <p>I'm understanding your pity party.<p>Jeffers

http://www.comfortqueen.com/cardsend.html?41<p>everyone needs a pity party sometimes, enjoy

Wow - I didnt think anyone would come to my selfish little party...Thanx 4 coming everyone, I hope you dont forget to leave with your bag of goodies...<p>SAT - its nor fair eh, but thats ok, cause not much really is in this life...most things probably have a delayed judgement and reimbursement the other side of heaven...but doesnt it make a difference to let difficult times change us into beautiful butterflies...perhaps a moth?<p>Jante - I hope u had a great time with the girls - I went out too and had a nice time<p>Longing - Thats good news for you, you would have needed a blanket to get rid of that much sweat.<p>Topie - did you lose a child 2 years ago? You really have had an incredible lifetime so far...I bet youre the prettiest looking butterfly in the garden!!!<p>Jeffers - thanx for coming to my party too...next time I'll make it a cheerful one.<p>
You guys can all go home now if you want, Ive had a great time feeling sorry for myself...time for bed.<p>AH

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by angelheart:
<strong>Topie - did you lose a child 2 years ago? You really have had an incredible lifetime so far...I bet youre the prettiest looking butterfly in the garden!!!
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Yes, Andrew passed away in his sleep on September 11, 2000. The one year anniversary was NOT a good day - obviously. He was almost 4 yrs old.<p>One of these days, I'll get to posting my story on here - you know, one of those L - O - N - G drawn out posts, just to say "I did it!". [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I don't plan on it anytime soon though. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>And anytime you need to have another pity party - just let me know if you want me to bring dessert!! hehehe (something CHOCOLATE perhaps? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ).<p>Karen