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#981176 03/01/02 12:01 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
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I may have asked these before, It is so hard to remember sometimes when yuor brain feels like cold scrambled eggs (i don't know WHERE that came from [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] )But here are some things I have been pondering.<p>Divorce is still not an option for me, but I can't keep him here against his will, and if he decides to divorce, I can't stop that either, but he will have to do it. He has not talked to his D since he left, found outyesterday she is angry.
I let H go on Monday. Tough Love/Modified Plan B...here...
Last Saturday, OW broke up with husband, then Sunday morning stated that she couldn't live without him...so we started again. I spoke to her and some of her comments bewilder me...also some of my H's actions on Sat.and comments on Monday.
Could you try to shed some light on them for me?
OW:
"I know what he is waiting for"
"Of course I don't want him to try to work on his marriage!!!"
"Our love is still new, it may not be strong enough"
"He had dinner with me and my dad."
And in the past she has stated "I know that we will not end up together"
(She explains it away to H)<p>(refresher, my husband doesn'twant to deal with her kids...Why on earth would she want to have a man who doesn't want her kids?)<p>O.K. H:
(Saturday)
He and I signed up for "dinner for 8" at our church. It is where 4 couples trade having dinner for the othr couples at their house. Kind of a way to get to know people (there are 4000 people that attend our church) He even told me to put down 25-30 yrs. old please. (last time we got hooked up with much older people) Why did he do that?
He put his name on home business that I had been starting.<p>Now for some of his comments:
"I don't know why I am leaving"
"Maybe I am not ready to work on the marriage or just not ready to give her up yet, but you will be here right?"
"I'd rather move in by myself" (he is with OW)<p>In the past he has told our neighbor that he see's himself eith me in the long run. Of course he explains it away to OW<p>When he moved he gave me all of his credit cards, told me all of the bills would be paid, I would just give him money for gas to get back and forth to work. She is not working, he will have no money, and aging there are the kids. He hasn't even called his own D since he has left.<p>He seems so confused. You all know that I really do love him and have accounted for my mistakes. I just don't know what to make of all of the confusing comments.<p>P.S. I forgot OW: "I want to do the biblical thing but I can't right now, maybe never"
And is her pressing for a divorce from me a LB?

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Did I understand what you said correctly? That the OW is demanding that YOU divorce your H?<p>Huh. Tell her that your marriage and your divorce (if such thing comes to pass) is none of her business.<p>yes, this is probably an LB on her part. I'd tell your H that she is pressuring YOU.<p>And it sounds to me like your H just isn't acting like that loving committed MM that she wants him to be. Oh well!

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No, I wasn't very clear, I am so sorry, I am sure that she is pressing him to get a divorce from me. I miss sorry worded it. I don't want to second guess him but different opinion help.

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I know it is hard Faith-n-hope,
yesterday you said you are focusing on your D. <p>Today you are focusing on OW and H. <p>Although this is normal to lose focus. Try and get back on track. You can't make sense of what they say. Pay no attention to words they say. Pay closer attention to actions. You H is living with OW. Now where do you go from here. No, not divorce. It hurts, I know. Cry and grieve. Focus on you and D.


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