Hello everyone, A little background first....I found out that my H was cheating on me about 6 weeks ago, well I was pregnant at the time with twins, I have since had them, they are beautiful and perfect. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Anyway, I believe he has quit seeing OW, at first he told me he thought he loved her, wanted to be with her, after 3 weeks of knowing her. Then I called her and talked to her (she knew about me and babies) she decided she didn't want to see my H again, supposedly because she didn't want to risk her career I told her I would go to her job and embarrass her, because I was way way pregnant and had nothing to lose. Anyway a couple days later checked H cell phone they had talked so I told H he had to leave could not stay with me and continue to see her, he said he didn't want to leave wasn't sure what he wanted. Mind you he was very, very worried about me being soooo pregnant and the babies. Anyway he left for one night slept in his truck, then next AM I had a DR. appt when I got home he was here, he hasn't left. I had his cell phone shut off, so I have no way of really telling if he continues to talk to her. But I don't think so, he did tell me he called her to tell her we had our babies.
Well I found this website and have been trying to do plan A and have been fairly successful, I would say but I am so ANGRY and hurt. I just usually sit there and listen to him tell me about how he thinks he is going to race his quad professionally, how he hates his job, everyone else in society is wrong because we live responsible lives like working etc, he thinks that you have to go after your passions and on and on. I just want to tell him what I really think that he is a very weak, weak individual, who will never race his ****ing quad professionally, because it takes money, and time which he has some of both but not enough to do what he thinks he is going to do. Plus he has a family now, I know he loves them but he hasn't been pulling his weight around here either, always wanting to go ride his quad or drink (beer) or sleep. I have time off of work so him not helping isn't that big of a deal yet just annoying. Another reason I want to yell at him but I don't I just go behind him picking up after him.
Last night we went to Applebee's for dinner took babies to grandma's and grandpa's house I had about 6 drinks of his beer and I was sooo ready to let him have it, I wanted to really, really hurt his feelings. I am starting to cry because I love him but I don't know if I want to be with him anymore. I just can't believe he did this to me when I was pregnant, fat, and unattractive. The OW is much younger and of course skinnier than I am I have lost at least 60lbs and am looking and feeling a lot better about myself and can't believe I would let him treat me this way. I just don't understand, I know we weren't meeting each others EN but I thought it was just because of the pregnancy and things would be normal again soon, believe me I had no idea things were that bad. About two weeks ago we were going to bed and I told him I wanted to give him some love, well I can't have sex yet but I wanted to cuddle have him hold me and maybe give him oral sex(I didn't tell him that) but he said he was tired and that he didn't know if that was a good idea, didn't want to confuse the situation any farther. Granted he kisses me, touches me, tells me I look good, sometimes, but nothing sexual. Talk about rejection again, again.
He says he wants to go to counseling, I have called and gotten a list of providers, but haven't made any appts yet, I am a little leary about talking to a counselor, just afraid it could make things worse if we don't get a good one.
I just have such mixed feelings about all this we have talked and he asks me how I feel and when I tell him I am angry, I seem to earn his respect a little more. Probably because the first week I found out, because of my situation of being pregnant with our first babies I just wanted to forget about the whole thing and go on with our lives, but now I don't even want to look at him most of the time.
So any suggestions on how the betrayed deal with these sort of emotions???
Thanks Tammy<p>I am 29, WS 26, D-Day Jan 20th, twin boy and girl feb 7th, been together 6 yrs, married 4 in Oct.<p>[ March 01, 2002: Message edited by: tamdamon2 ]</p>

Hi, <p>Welcome to MB. I am sorry for your situation. But if you change your title to read something like..... "just had twins and H had an A, please help", this might get the attention of Topie. She was in a situation very similar to yours. Her twins just turned 1. <p>Along with that read the basic concepts section at the top of this screen. There is a lot more to learn but you are just recovering from your childbirth and you do need a lot of support right now. <p>Take Care,
L.

Tammy, I really don't have any great advice about the OW situation, but as a mother of twins I had to respond to you. You are going through a major life change, taking care of two babies AND trying to plan A your WH? You are a saint! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] The lack of sleep and realization that you are responsible for the lives of these precious babies is more than enough emotional strain for you!<p>I will pray that your H has stopped all contact and realizes that he must put his immaturity aside and take his place as a father and husband. It sounds like you are doing a really great job, just keep up your strength, take a nap whenever you can and remember that you cannot change the world but you can make it a better place for your children.<p>Prayers to you, Ladysing [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

I think the emotions you are feeling are normal. I think you are doing great for just having the twins and putting up with the emotional trauma of an affair.<p>Boy, this is a great site. I think you will find it will help you get through this roller coaster of emotions. <p>I am sorry you are having to face this at this time in your life. Enjoy those little ones--what a special time. Do you have people to help you with the babies? Is your family close by? Don't be afraid to ask for help--emotional and physical. I hope your husband gets his act in gear--sounds like he has a great family. Take Care Pat