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What does this mean to you?<p>Cali
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ummm, .... maybe to stop making excuses and get on with it?
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It means actions speak louder than words!!!<p>L.
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Wasn't it Yoda in Star Wars that said, "There IS no TRY, only DO"?? [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Trying gives yourself an "out". Doing means you're going to find a way to get something done.
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Cali, I have an old post around here somewhere about "do you want a relationship talk..or a relationship?" I think that's my answer...actually it was an old "grannyism" I heard once. <p>But I think that sort of the crux of the matter..you can stew about it, analyze it, play with it...or just say GO FOR IT! T
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Yep... trying gives us an 'out.' <p>I tried to plan A... but I just couldn't.<p>I tried not to LB... BUT...<p>I tried...<p>WE all make mistakes... I just reread a couple of old posts of mine from the summer... what an embarrassment... we justify our actions and our words by saying my 'emotions' took over and I just couldn't control myself...<p>One of the things I have had to learn through this is to engage my BRAIN before my MOUTH... to THINK or PRAY before I speak or ACT...<p>to DO and not try...<p>Just some meandering thoughts on a sunny California FRIDAY...<p>Hugs,
Cali
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TWYLA!!! I remember that thread... <p>yep... sometimes we can 'talk' ourselves into a FIGHT... we so want the OTHER to SEE our side... <p>I was struggling w/ H last night... wanted him to see my side... WHY? what would it get me? a high-five, I was right moment?<p>Instead... he got mad... I got frustrated... and we TALKED... about the only thing I did 'right' was that I used radical honesty and wouldn't let him pull me into the cycle of how our 'talks' usually go... <p>NO MORE RELATIONSHIP TALKS!!!<p>Hugs,
Cali
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I agree Cali.<p>DOING your best is different than trying. isn't it? Can you look back on situations and say "I tried", but can you look back and say "I did my best"? <p>Doing our best is giving 100%. We may still fail, or make a mistake. THat's ok.<p>Trying could be giving 10%, but you can always say that you "tried". <p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>So always do your best. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>The scouts' motto starts out with "I will do my best...." it doesn't start out with "I will try..."... haha...
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Life rewards action, not intention.
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This is interesting in regards to Plan A, I think. Plan A is not about doing nothing but talking (or maintaining the "silent" status quo, if that's the case). So the question is...what is Plan A ABOUT??? What do you actually DO???<p>Doing instead of talking also applies to Plan B...if one is ready for it, just DO it...quit talking/whining about it and just go for it [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] Sounds about right???
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Oh geez, Cali, you got it right on the spot.<p>My sponsor used to give me sooooo much crap for saying "I am trying, but".<p>I'm trying simply means, I won't.
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ttf: <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Plan A is not about doing nothing but talking (or maintaining the "silent" status quo, if that's the case). So the question is...what is Plan A ABOUT??? What do you actually DO???<hr></blockquote><p>Where did you get this from? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] Plan A is about making changes in YOU (BS)... it is NOT about TALKING... see Twyla's post above... <p>Those changes depend on the BS... each situation is different.<p>Cali
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As I understand it, the more universal components of Plan A are:<p>1. Avoiding LBs. 2. Becoming an expert at meeting your spouse's ENs. 3. Negotiating and/or awaiting the demise of the A and the subsequent withdrawal period in preparation for recovery of the M (which requires both partners).<p>The rest is about self-improvement and making needed changes in your life to effect your personal recovery whether marital recovery ever becomes a reality or not.
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QUIT TRYING AND JUST DO IT<p>I love it Cali,<p>Could the LB fairie make a list & send it to some posters who just don't seem to get it. Then she take care of the WS, OP, etc......... TEENAGERS<p>Okay you can tell I have been posting on this board way to long.... when you start wanting to tell people to shut up or put up.<p>[ March 02, 2002: Message edited by: sing ]</p>
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Before my W's A I was 'trying' to save my marriage. 'Trying' meant doing as little as my pride would allow. ( It was her fault, after all, not mine ). Now I would give anything to have the chance to 'just do it'. Hopefully we live and learn.
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