With not wanting to repeat my whole story. My wife was having some type of relationship over the internet with another guy. I found out and hopefully put a stop to it. With that said, how do you really know if your W has stopped talking with this OM? She cancelled her private email account, but he has our home number (never was comfortable with that one). Went along anyway. Of course this was before I started to get suspicous.<p>Would love to hear from W who had similar relationships like my W had and how true were you with stopping the relatioship? Was it cold turkey or did it take sometime?<p>W and I talked over the course of a few days and I think/believe we can put this in the past. I know that the OM will either call or email her eventually on her other account (not Private or hidden). Hopefully she does the right thing and sets him straight and on his way.<p>OM not her type at all (looks, education wise, career wise)and about 13 years older. <p>married 8 years
2 kids
nice house-
good income<p>[ March 01, 2002: Message edited by: something wrong ]<p>[ March 01, 2002: Message edited by: something wrong ]<p>[ March 01, 2002: Message edited by: something wrong ]</p>

There may be a reason that your W has been looking. Have you discussed her reasons? Is there something that she feels is missing in her life?<p>If you are viewing an OM and/or talking to an OM in such a way, that you would not want your H to see or hear, then there is something to be concerned about. <p>I would definitely pursue why this is happening, right now, before the situation becomes worse. Seek out MC too. It is always helpful to have a mediator guide you to the root of the problem.<p>There are also several good books out there in regards to these types of situations, regarding the internet. Also, read all the literature within this site. The Harley's have written several excellent books too. It is always a good thing to keep us fresh in regards to emotional needs, especially.<p>Hopefully, you caught an incident before it became a huge problem. Since it bothers you and it was hidden from you, then it is a problem. Act on it now, so that the issue is resolved and does not become a net hanging over your household.

I don't have any sage advice for you, but wanted you to know that others ARE reading your thread and thinking of you. Plus I didn't want to see it fall off of page 1.<p>Kev

I don't know how much help I can be...but I had an EA with someone from the internet. I'm not defending myself, for my marriage was in trouble long before the EA started...the EA was a by-product of something that should have been resolved. <p>Basically, the thing started out as writing emails back and forth. The emails were pretty harmless...we traded information about work, our marriages, what we liked, etc. A few weeks later, those emails became the highlight of my day...the intensity of them increased. It was a weird existance, I hadn't a clue what this man looked like...or did I care. A month later, he started calling me at work. We talked every day...and then before I knew it, he was telling me he loved me. <p>I was living in an emotionally dead marriage with an abusive spouse. I know now that I shouldn't have done what I did, but I did. When my ex found out he went balistic. He put a whole in the wall, took the hard drive out of the PC, called the OM's wife and told her we were having an affair. <p>The EA never advanced. We never talked about meeting each other. When my ex called the man's wife, it ended abruptly. I had withdrawl for a couple months...I was miserable and hated my husband for doing what he did. <p>That was two years ago. I got over it. I have been divorced for nearly a year after being married 16 years. Do I regret it? No. I wanted to fix the problem and my marriage, but my ex was having not of that. I was literally dragged through the mud during my 18 month separation. To this day, my ex claims that the OM destroyed our marriage. He didn't, my ex did, but it is easier to blame someone else.

Some.wrong - You have found betrayal from your wife. This is how my H sexual affair started. First on the internet, then they e-mailed, then the cell-phone (my H paid for all the phones and calls), then sex in bed. <p>You have a warning sign, go for it. You can get a tracer on her computer. She might have a private e-mail, and who knows there might be phone calls. My H denied everything, lied, told me I was screwed up, etc. <p>She is obviously unhappy in the marriage. You can make a good marriage, get in MC and read the Harley books. As long as she has an open mind, and is willing to make the committment with your marriage, you probably will make this a wonderful marriage. Otherwise, you will be like me, H didn't want to do MB stuff, and to this day says he doesn't want me. Show her that you love her, care for her, and only want her in your life the rest of your lives.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by HappyMac:
<strong>Basically, the thing started out as writing emails back and forth. The emails were pretty harmless...we traded information about work, our marriages, what we liked, etc. A few weeks later, those emails became the highlight of my day...the intensity of them increased. It was a weird existance, I hadn't a clue what this man looked like...or did I care. A month later, he started calling me at work. We talked every day...and then before I knew it, he was telling me he loved me. <p></strong><hr></blockquote><p>This is how I pictured my husbands A starting and progressing. My hubby emailed her and explained why he was "ending it", she already knew I found out, and not reply back to him. Then he blocked her from his email and from IM. He hasn't been back online since but when he does I'm putting a spy program on his computers. Since he has shown me he has a problem with honesty and respect I'm keeping him honest. He knows it's going to be there.. He's ok with it.. He says if that's how he has to earn my trust HE'LL DO IT! <p>Good luck and I hope for the best for you two..