I have been reading your posts this week and i want to tell you that you have helped me keep my sanity this week. I hope sometime soon I can handle all this in a calm, rational manner. I look forward to your posts--they definitely calm me down.<p>Haven't been able to follow a lot of it just yet--but my goal is to sound like you as quickly as possible.....at least I don't hurt as bad anymore tho. That is a relief.<p>Now I am laughing...this poor girl doesn't know what she is getting. It is nice to see that finally. How are you doing? Are you and the kids getting through this flu season ok? Everyone is sick here....knock on wood--I am the only one who has been sick so far. It was good hearing from you....Pat

Pat,<p>Just a quick drop in visit.<p>Glad you are doing stronger. It is a long road. remember there are hill & valleys. Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in between.<p>I have finally come to the relazztion that I need to move the divorce along. i filed in early July but niether of us have pushed it. On my part I was not in any hurry, still not but the book needs to be finished. It is time. <p>I am still sad that it all turned out this way. It seems such a waste to throw 20 yrs out the door. But I can't change the past only the future.<p> AND I REFUSE TO BE A BITTER OLD WOMAN<p>kids are back & I wanting the computer

Dear Sing,
I think that is how I am feeling now too. I am coming to the realization that this is not the type of man that I want spend my life with. He has been emotionally abusive--and I just was trying to have a great marriage and keep my family together that I just didn't see it. <p>Anyone who continually breaks their marriage vows and then blames you for it--, somone who can walk away from their family, who chooses to cause this type of pain over and over again--that is not the type of person I want to be with or I want for a role model for my kids.<p>This has been a hard journey...but hopefully we will have great lives ahead of us. I know that I can say that I tried to make this marriage work...and I tried to survive his affairs. It is time for a change. I still wish I was where you are tho--hopefully, I will get there. Pat

Hi MnM and Sing,<p>I'm hoping I can be where Sing is soon, too. Even tho "logistically" I am way ahead of her (D and H re-marrying), emotionally I am not where I want to be. [Anybody here a hypnotist? Would love to wipe my memory clean of x-H].<p>I think what Sing said is true ... Peaks and Valley's.<p>And MnM, your H was very very lucky to have you all those years, you're a wonderfl person and a great mother to his children. <p>I pray we all three will SOON have a much better life.<p>Peace,
Jo

Hi Resilient,<p>I don't know...you sound pretty good. I know it must be hard. I am sure my H will soon be marrying his OW too.<p>I looked at him the other day in the bleachers tho--and for the first time in 25 years--I didn't feel anything but intense sadness and revulsion.<p>I guess they are right that it just takes time...patience, patience, patience.<p>This is not how I envisioned my life...but I hope I can make good friends, maybe another love, and if not...I still have a lot of things I want to experience.<p>Wouldn't it be fun to do something different with everyone. Maybe we should plan a MB raft trip down the Colorado river, or a ski trip, or scuba diving in the Caribbean. I would love to go on an African safari too. Somehow, I have to get into a better paying job [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Just wanted to let you know that you and Sing and Orchid and Cali and Zorweb and so many others have really made a difference in my life. You have given me courage and hope and helped me get through some of the worst times in my life. I miss seeing some of STLs posts too. He always had good advice. Anyway, thanks!!!