How many of you out there have involved your spouses/SO in posting on this site?<p>Wondering because my WH refuses to have anything to do with it. He feels this is no better than his tacky little chat line. (but thats just his Fog) says I'm addicted.<p>Susie.

Oh yeah I've tried but W won't have anything to do with it either.

Last year my H, SeenTheLight, was very involved here. He loved it. Though he does not post anymore, unless I prod him on a particular thread, we still read and discuss posts all the time.

Heyy there Im new here tonight but have been to the website a ot of late I have read 4 of his books in the last 2 months. I amattempting to get My W to just to go to the web page. but I cant even get her to pick up a book. But All I can do is keep trying. If anyone can thin of a creative way to jump start there other to active involvement please share .

My WW started to look around the site for a few days. Then she said that it just got to depressing seeing all the people hurting and reading how badly they were hurting. She said that it just kills her that she hurt me in a huge way. So she stopped, but knowing my W she will still lurk once in awhile.

I told my H about this board back when I first found out about it. He claimed he had read through a lot of it, but never actually did. Silly sap (at the time)... if he had, he would have seen EVERYTHING I was doing and had on him at the time.<p>Now we're in recovery. Although he doesn't post, he and I do talk a LOT about the posts on here. He's getting the hang of the MB principles now too - and is quite willing to share his views on some topics with me.<p>I too am addicted to this board. I phase in and out from it though. Right now, I'm IN!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] One day, I hope I won't feel the need to come here to get support, but to only give it every now and then. <p>Karen

Hi, <p>My H won't fully admit to coming here but periodically will mention something that I know is posted here. This is rare so I don't think he visits often. He does know my user name and well knows I communicate with several from MB. <p>What I did from the beginning was send him e-mails about various threads that I felt were pertinent. I also realized that my H could then view whatever I wrote, these were no secrets and yet there was so much to tell. So what I write, I write and respond as if my H can see them. NO secrets yet look at the stuff I have been writing about!!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Anyway, I think the periodic e-mails with small messages from me were helpful to him. At least that is what he said.....even while in the fog. You do have to choose wisely!!!<p>I also showed him the books and we had a session with Steve. It has taken H a long long long time to realize what he has been doing. He still does not blame the OW as much as he should but regardless of how bad she is, he is the influcence that brings her bad conduct into this family so I told him that I hold both of them responsible. I also told him that I hope she does not subject another family to all the trouble she has brought to ours. He says she has learned her lesson but IMHO, I think not. She is too arrogant an OW to ever stop her ways. JMHO, though. <p>L.

My H (the BS) found this site shortly after D-day. He told me about it and sent me threads that he thought would be helpful to me/us. I evetually checked the site out and found a lot of interesting and helpful stuff. My H and I both post here. We both read here on a daily basis and we discuss things we have read.

H has known about this site since I found it. His initial reaction was to mock the whole concept; that lasted for many months. I did get his agreement to do the ENQ and the RC inventory, but that is as much 'buy in' as I could get to the MB principles and this website.<p>At about 11 months after d-day, H started reading the forum, pretty much on his own. He even posted a few times. That did not last long, as he was not prepared to invest time in learning more about MB principles so that the exchanges on this board could actually 'speak' to him.<p>Now, he only checks out this board to read what I have been writing. And he asks me 'how's the gang' when I have just checked into the forum. I sometimes think he is still mocking the whole conecpt, but he says he isn't.<p>Surprisingly, H listened the His Needs/Her Needs tape last week, after it sat unopened for nearly a year; and over the weekend, he cracked open LoveBusters. He now talks the HN/HN lingo nearly daily.<p>So, what's my long-winded point? I don't think forcing the MB site helps much. Although I have been applying the principles since early on in recovery, I would talk to my H in terms which did not quote Harley or this site (because he simply tuned out otherwise). It has taken more than a year and a half for my H to be actively interested in the principles, and he needed to come to them on his own. He told me that he recognizes much of what I have talked about over the past 17 months (from HN/HN and LBs) but that if I had tried Harley's concepts and words in the early days of recovery, he would have 'laughed me out of town'.<p>Scared to be single, could it be that your H is reacting in this manner too?