well i havent posted in a while. things seemed tobe going great. WS seemed to be coming out of his fog. He is back at work full time. we have been spending lots of time together. but he stillwont' talke to me. then last night he found out OW had a new boyfriend and today he freaked. Got roaring drunk and called his sister ) who OW is living with) threatening suicide. He spoke with OW and she told him they had no future and she was getting on with her life. He change the suicide threat toshooting the other guy in the foot so he could feel the pain he was going through. Ha - doesn't feel good to get rejected does it????? Anyway he finally came in and passed out. I am fed up. I ave been plan aing my [censored] off. and he hasn't made a move to start rebuilding this marriage. I am about ready for Plan B, but wanted your inpute. I really take what you say seriously, so please give me some guidance here!!!!! Please??? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ March 03, 2002: Message edited by: amh ]</p>

{{{{{{{amh}}}}}}}<p>I figured you could use a hug!!!!!<p>First of all, perhaps you should come here for support more often. If H isn't making any effort to rebuild, you still need lots of support. And there may be things that we can help you tweak in your Plan A efforts. Are you taking care of YOU??? Remember, Plan A is about YOU, and you can get burned out really quick if your only focus is to "win him back".<p>Now, click here and read [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] :<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=015899<p>Lean on us.... and Hang in there!!!

thank you for the hug!! and yes, I have been taking care of me. I eat better, I lost 22 pounds. I got a new job which I am very happy with. That is why continuing the Plan A is so hard. I feel I deserve so much more. Maybe I am being selfish, but how much of his pity party do I have to take. I know i can make it without him. But part of me doesn't want to give up. I don't know, maybe it does. I am getting closer to that point. Even though i haven't posted much lately, i have visited and read other threads which have also helped. I just don't like bugging all of y'all with every little thing. Anyway, I feel very sad tonight and am taking it out on the wine bottle. I feel so empty right now and don't know what to say to him. I know I need to be supportive and try to help him, but I don't think i have it in me right now.

Hi AMH,<p>A simple point to bear in mind - you mustn't get out of shape about his reactions. Your plan is coming together and he will be feeling at a very low ebb. Don't LB now and put yourself in the firing line. Lie low and watch, give him the space he needs to see the reality of what he has done. Stay upbeat yourself. You've come a long way - don't blow it.<p>I await your success story, good luck.