I found this post today in my personal journal that was originally given to me by WHO. I had forgotten about it but once I read it again, it sure did put things into perspective. I thought I would share it with everyone (like me) who is having a hard time with a WS who doesn’t seem to be coming around as fast as they would like them to.<p>WHO- hope you don’t mind me plagiarizing your work here, but this one really helped me out a long time ago when I didn’t know where things were going.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>A few weeks ago W and I were in counseling talking about our problems. C stopped us and drew a triangle. He pointed to the sides and said that we both needed to start looking up. The top of the triangle represented God. He told us we were both spending two much time looking at each other from the side. We were measuring how far and how fast we were climbing (or falling). Now, I'm not a religious man but I do believe that I have some pretty sound morals and values. I took this to heart but found myself in my office last weekend upset and reading this site. I can imagine that many of you have shared days like this. I was so frustrated by the lack of progress in my M that I needed to vent and didn't want to set myself back with my W. I started up the computer and came to this Web site. I started reading through the posts then the articles. It just made me more frustrated. I was sitting there just gazing at the screen and thinking. I must have stared at that screen for 15 minutes before I saw it. On the Marriage Builder homepage is the same triangle. Only this one has two arrows climbing to the top. I noticed as they moved to the top one moved faster and higher than the other but once they both made it to the top they were both replaced by one big red arrow. My frustration was immediatly gone.
I started asking myself "what happens if only one arrow makes it to the top?" Then I realized that was the whole point of the lesson in C. Quit looking at the other arrow. So what if she doesn't make it? I will be at the top and even if it's alone it will be a better place than were I am right now. Maybe W will join me later maybe not. Maybe she stays were she's at and finds somebody else. Maybe she has a different hill to climb. Maybe there is somebody waiting for me or climbing the same hill. Whatever or whoever is up there deserves better than I am right now. I deserve better than I'm doing right now. There is probably a lot less trash and garbage to wade through up there. I want to keep my eye out for my W but she's going to have to make that climb by herself but I guess I can't. Well, maybe a quick peak here and there?<hr></blockquote><p>It took a while for this to get through my thick skull, but once it did, things sure did go a lot easier. It made me realize that I had to follow my own path and couldnt force WS to stay on the same one, she had her own path to take.
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