My husband returned home, but left all his stuff at the OWs. He neglected going to get it this weekend. Monday he stopped over there before work and got some clothes, but left all his other stuff -- he also had "the talk" with her (he had come to my house Friday morning and just didn't go back, didn't call her either -- although she tried to contact him). Now he tells me he's going over on Saturday to get the rest of it. I told him *I* would go get it and he wanted to know why I wanted to cause a scene. Last night when he got home, he didn't want to talk about it and got angry when I persisted. He said he had had an emotionally draining day and we would have all week to talk about it. I asked him why he didn't at least grab his guitar and he yelled at me that he had to go to work. So I dropped it. <p>I'm very angry with him for putting me in this position -- and he just doesn't get why it bothers me so much. <p>My best solution is to make him take me with him when he goes over there (I'd prefer going over myself, but I realize that may cause more problems than it solves). I've also considered just replacing everything (over $1000 worth of stuff), but I really don't want to spend the little savings we have on this. I'm also considering telling him he's SOL and he should have grabbed everything the one chance I gave him. <p>There is no good solution and I just wanted to VENT!

POJA --
Go with him. I assume what you want to prevent is her begging him to stay, or using sex to keep him.<p>As long as you're there -- and you and H present a united front, then you've succeeded in preventing her access to your H.<p>Not as good as them not seeing each other at all, but POJA!

I see some options here. Do you guys have a friend who can go over and retrieve his things if she gets them packed? The other thing would be for her to pack his things and leave them on the porch for you and H to pick up? OR, if she won't leave the stuff on the porch, could he take a friend or relative INSIDE to help him gather his stuff while you wait in the car? <p>I don't think you should go in her house and see her. If you are anything like me, the sight of her would put me in a rage and I would take her down without a second thought. You don't need to end up in jail over a scumball like her. <p>If I were you I wouldn't make this hard on him but I also agree with you that they CANNOT be left alone together. That is a recipe for disaster. <p>But please try to help him do this with a minimum of lovebusting because you don't need to be pushing him away right now. Don't do anything to make the OW look more attractive.

Please as clearly and as sweetly as you can expleain to him why you need to go.. and why you would not want him to go... POJA- have you read about that? Please be careful and try not to cause a fight with him over this... you are lucky he is home.<p>Hugs, H

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Honey:
<strong>Please as clearly and as sweetly as you can expleain to him why you need to go.. and why you would not want him to go... POJA- have you read about that? Please be careful and try not to cause a fight with him over this... you are lucky he is home.<p>Hugs, H</strong><hr></blockquote><p>
honey, what would you do if you went into the OW's house and saw her standing there smirking at you?

POJA? No, that doesn't ring a bell.<p>We don't live near our relatives and the few friends my husband has down here, I wouldn't trust.<p>According to my husband, she tried to convince him he's doing the wrong thing when he talked to her Monday morning. He says she said "Things don't get better, I know". When my husband told me that I just looked at him and said, "She's wrong." <p>I'm going to have to just go with him. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to control myself and maybe it will do her good to put a face with the person she's been hurting all this time. Although, I must confess to a bit of morbid curiosity -- I don't know anything about this woman, not even her name! And as Lexxy said, if we present a united front, maybe she'll get the message. I'm very worried that she's not going to back off. I think if she leaves him alone, my husband will have the fortitude to ignore her. But if she keeps calling him, I'm pretty sure he'll cave pretty quickly. Although I could be wrong, I suspect that once he had to live with her he decided she wasn't quite who he thought she was.