Melody my affair was nothing about a wake up call for my H. He still doesn't care. My affair was about feeling loved, feeling wanted, feeling needed. It wasn't about sex, the sex was such a small part of it. My affair was about losing myself in my marriage. It was about a man who had busted my self esteem until I really began to feel unwanted, ugly, fat, unworthy etc. I loved the man I had an affair with. I still love him and if there were a way to keep my children with me I would be with him now. It's been 4 years and I have had no contact with him but there isn't one day that I don't remember what I feel for him. I changed my phone number, I changed my cell phone number and I refused his calls at work.I have tried boundless way to change my marriage both before and after the affair. I won't try to justify it because I know it was wrong. I also know that leaving this man who claims to be my husband is my only way out. That's where we're headed. Don't be one to judge so easily. You have no idea what I've gone through in my marriage. You have no idea what it's like to love someone who chooses an inanimate object over you and until you feel the pain of that you will never understand where I'm coming from.

JC,<p>Believe me, I do sympathize with you and often wonder what I would do in such a situation. I hope I wouldn't have an affair but I can definately see how you could be pushed to such a temptation. I might even be tempted to do it to PUNISH my H. So, I know how torn you must be. <p>It's not so easy when you have kids to think about. There is nothing easy about breaking up a marriage when there are kids involved. So, please don't take me the wrong way. I do sympathize with you, but on the other hand you and I both know how wrong an affair is, regardless of the reasons that led to it.