My husband and I have been separated since December 2001. I have a question about filing taxes this year. In the past when my husband and I did our taxes, we would always file jointly because it was better for him. If I filed as married, single, I would get some money back (not much), but he would have to pay a lot. If we filed jointly, we would usually owe the IRS, but not as much as he would owe if he filed married, single. In the past when filing jointly, we would both pay half of the money owed to the IRS. This year his earned income is higher than usual because of a severance package that he received from his last employer. He was laid off in October 2001. The last time I spoke with him I asked him what he wanted to do about taxes this year. He said that we should file jointly as we normally do. My question is, should we file as usual? Obviously, the reason I am posting this message is because I am having doubts about filing as usual. It does not seem fair or morally responsible for my husband to ask me to pay half of our tax bill, especially since I am not benefitting from the severance package he received. I have been supporting myself financially since he left. On the other hand, I don't want to appear like a witch to my husband, especially since I would like to save our marriage. I would greatly appreciate any comments/advice anyone wants to send. You can learn more about my situation at How can I save my marriage.<p>Thank you,<p>Alana

in my opinion - not an expert by ANY means - perhaps it depends on the amount of $$ we're talking about. Is it worth appearing like a "witch", insisting on independence, and making him reap the rewards of his actions, to avoid splitting the tax bill?<p>It may not seem "fair" to file jointly and split the bill, but how big a financial "mole hill" or "mountain" is it? You don't have to answer here, obviously, but just one way to think about it.<p>Also, would H consider your concerns (raised in a non-LB manner) and offer to pay a larger portion of the bill?<p>[ March 05, 2002: Message edited by: Faith1 ]</p>

I agree that you should think about the above. Of course the best solution is to sit down and have an agreeable conversation about the taxes.<p>But, I do have tax experience and just need to remind you that if you sign a joint return that you are then jointly liable for any tax due. If you agree to sign a joint return then make sure you come to an agreement and send in the tax due with the return. If you do not pay the tax with the return and then your husband refuses to pay it, the IRS can hold you jointly responsible (and if you end up in divorce court it could become part of the bill pile - and IRS interest adds up really fast!). If you do end up getting a legal separation or divorce make sure the tax issue is spelled out to avoid future disagreements(that is if you have kids -- who gets to claim them, etc.).<p>I don't mean to bring up negative things -- you should just be aware of them. I hope you two can talk and work this out fairly. Good luck.<p>JJ

Faith1/JJ613,<p>Thank you for your comments. I will certainly consider them carefully. I haven't actually completed the tax forms yet. My concerns are based on past experiences. I know that the tax bill will be higher this year because my husband's earned income was higher. I'm estimating that we'll have to send around $900 to the IRS if we file jointly. <p>I wish that I could sit down and discuss this with my husband in a non-LB manner. Firstly, he is living in England (he is originally from there), under the influence (I believe) of the OW (who has a child; we don't have any children), so seeing each other is impossible. He is taking it for granted that I'm going to file taxes on his behalf. Secondly, my husband is a very selfish person. Therefore, I don't know how I can safely discuss this subject with him without looking like a witch. <p>When he left the US in December, he suggested that we could work on our marriage, though I don't know how we can really do that when he is across the Atlantic. He says that he is having doubts about his relationship with the OW, but they are still in contact and are planning to be together. Anyway, since December I have trying my best to do Plan A by sending letters and gifts (for Xmas, Valentine's Day and his birthday) and by calling him every now and then. He always seems unimpressed by my efforts and never shows an interest in talking with me on the phone. I just can't seem to get through to him. I'm trying my best to not become too discouraged, but you can see why I'm concerned about how to approach the subject of the taxes with him. I thought about writing a letter instead of calling him, but April 15th is almost here and I need to make a decision quickly. I would love some advice on discussing this subject with him in a caring, non-LB manner. If you have any more advice, please send them. Thank you again!<p>Alana

You could write him a nice letter explaining how you feel and your offer to him that you consider fair. Remember the ball is really in your court because he cannot prevent you from filing married separate (and then he will be responsible for filing himself).<p>With your letter you could send the joint return for his signature and requesting he return it to you along with his check to the IRS. DO NOT SIGN HIS NAME without the proper legal authorization.
Make sure you document everything in WRITING (as in telling him you will not sign the return and file it if you don't agree or if he doesn't send payment, etc.) Send everything certified mail requesting return receipt and keep copies. You could even be nice and enclose extra blank tax forms if he wishes to file married separate by himself! <p>You should really speak to a local experienced tax preparer -- they deal with stuff like this all the time. And they can advise you on filing an extension if you need to, and also on any rules concerning a non-citizen and foreign income if that applies. <p>I wish I could offer better advice but it's really your decision on what you are willing to pay (i.e. what's fair and how material the money is to you) versus trying to save the marriage. <p>Wishing you more luck in figuring this out,
JJ

Alana, <p>I am looking at pretty much the same issue as you are with the exception that I will have to pay the entire amount owed to the IRS. My WH was fired as a result of the A and he cashed out his 401K. Alone I would not owe any money since I paid the house payment all year and I would get to deduct all of the interest paid on the house on my taxes. Together we will owe a lot of money. <p>I have a masters in tax accounting and I know what is best for me. But in making the dicision on what to do with the taxes I had to make a decision regarding what is best in the long run. I am filing with my WH and will pay the IRS and move on trying to work on my marriage. That is the choice that I made. You have to look at what is best for you now and what is best in the long run and make the decision on your own. <p>I can give you a suggestion if you do not feel that you should pay any of what he would owe, but still not look all bad. You could figure your taxes on your own and then show him that alone you would get back $X. Tell him that to save him money you will file jointly, but that he will need to pay the entire bill. Point out that you are saving him money doing this and that you are also fogoing the amount you would have gotten back otherwise. <p>Good luck with your decsion.

I was a tax preparer. If he hasn't filed yet, you can file only two ways, unless legally seperated, MFJ or MFS. That's the law, I believe, unless it's changed since '97 when I did taxes. You can file either way you want if he hasn't filed yet, however, if you put him in a bind--that's an LB. It would be fair for you to have two versions of your return handy (and I think you can file online free (no software necessary) with Turbo Tax if your income is less than $25K). Have both ready so he doesn't mess you up by filing before you do (important if you have kids.) If he has already filed, you have to file the same way, and vice versa. If you sit down and talk, show him the two amounts that you would have to pay, and whichever is less, or gets more back, use that return. If you get money back and he pays, but when you subtract the two amounts, the difference is less than the other return, use that return. Is this confusing? I guess that's just taxes. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

Oh,yeah. If filing seperately ends up that you pay less in the long run, why not share your refund with him to make up the difference.

Hello everyone,<p>Thank you all for your input. Your advice has been of tremendous help to me. I realize that I have to decide on a course of action that will be good for me and for my marriage (what is left of it). I think I will take SinkingFast's advice, but I will also take the advice of jj613 and write a non-LB letter to my H describing my feelings about this tax business. And, I will enclose extra blank tax forms if he chooses to file separately. I hope my H will understand my dilemma. I know that he is operating with only half of a brain right now, but one can hope for the best! Thank you again for your advice!<p>Alana

Hello everyone,<p>Thank you all for your input. Your advice has been of tremendous help to me. I realize that I have to decide on a course of action that will be good for me and for my marriage (what is left of it). I think I will take SinkingFast's advice, but I will also take the advice of jj613 and write a non-LB letter to my H describing my feelings about this tax business. And, I will enclose extra blank tax forms if he chooses to file separately. I hope my H will understand my dilemma. I know that he is operating with only half of a brain right now, but one can hope for the best! Thank you again for your advice!<p>Alana