What the h-e-double hockey sticks is wrong with you people?? Don't you, whether BS or WS, have enough pain to deal with or do you need more??<p>You are not going to change the minds of the people there. If you visit that site to learn the other side of the psychology of affairs, this is a good thing, but a lot of you see this as some kind of war with the enemy.<p>Someone posts there, then there is a retaliatory response here, and on and on it goes until the children tire of the game.<p>There are some of you that if you spent half as much energy on improving yourselves and working on your marriages as you do lambasting gloryb and throwing rocks at OPs, you wouldn't believe the positive changes you could inspire.<p>The bottom line is that even though the OP *may* be scum-of-the-earth, substance abuser, molester, criminal or whatever other kind of low-life, there would have been no affair if YOUR SPOUSE HAD NOT SAID "YES"!!. Therefore it is easy to see that the concentration needs to be on the BS, WS and the marriage. I've seen several people here recently quote Dr. Phil in that you cannot work on the marriage with a third-party in the picture. The BS can be as responsible as the WS for the interference of the OP, either directly or indirectly. So don't use Dr. Phil only when it's convenient.<p>Have any of you even read Dr. Harley. He says that you cannot educate your spouse. It is only logical that this applies double for OP.<p>Leave gloryb alone and get back to the big job that you have improving yourself and/or your marriages.<p>[big vent mode off]

[pouting mode on] Your right. [pouting mode off]<p>I do think I asked a legitimate question though. Anyhow. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Thank-you DeWayne,<p>I have been reading here the last couple of days and shaking my head and not knowing what to say or even how to say it.<p>I know that I have very little place to say anything about saving a marriage. Goodness knows I worked my tail off trying to save mine, but in the end it didn't turn out the way I wanted it...
that being said, I have to say "move on", venting is all well and good, even a little bit of fantasizing about "what if this happened to the OP", but there seems to be far too much of that on the boards lately.
"Meanest thing your WS said"
"Meanest thing you said to your WS"
"Most ridiculous thing your WS said"
How many more ways in the next couple of weeks are you going to rehash the old wounds?
And as far as the OP and Gloryb is concerned just ignore them...
For some of you who are harassed by the OP it may be harder and if this is the case then take whatever legal action you can to stop this.
But for heavens sake and for your own sanity let it go...
even if your marriage doesn't survive you will survive a whole lot better if you let go of the hurt and let the healing really truly begin.
I know that I still have a long way to go with that as well so maybe I am speaking out of line, but as long as there are posts encouraging this kind of behavior then it will be prolonged.
It seems to me that there has been a constant battle with Gloryb lately.
Why??
What is the point??
What do you hope to hope to accomplish with this??
Is it going to help or hinder your marriage building (and your self improving) efforts??<p>One thing I wanted to add...
I think it is TowardsTheFuture who has as a sig line the verses from 1corrinthians 13
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
When I was a teen I went to a retreat and the speaker at the seminar used this verse as a demonstration of what we as humans would do so much better if we strove to replace our name with the words love and it in this verse.
I think that is a true demonsrtation of plan A
getting rid of disrepectful judgements, angry outbursts, bringing up the past etc.
Just something I wanted to throw out there.

I agree, We must stop the nonsense that is going on between these boards. I went over there to see what was going on and it was pretty predictable, I will not comment about anything that they said.<p>When I first came to MB I was in shock and looking for some answers. So many people seemed to be looking for another person who might offer words of encouragement, or a prayer.<p>There is still a lot of good stuff going on here, many people are being helped. I have found recently though that I leave the site feeling... well, not much better.<p>Let's try to offer hope and encouragement to those who need it and stop wasting any of our time on those who don't. <p>In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:6

BRAVO, Dewayne,<p> I couldn't agree more. I have stayed away from those posts and that site. What's the point? I am not stupid enough to think I can educate people who don't want to learn.<p> jd<p>[ March 07, 2002: Message edited by: jdmac1 ]</p>

YES!!<p>It's getting ugly enough out there, folks...<p>Scary too...<p>I have found myself in the middle of things around here more than once, and it's ALWAYS bad for MY SPIRIT too... and doesn't help anyone else either!<p>Platonic Hugs DeWayne!!!

BUMP

We've been needing this kind of post for a while. I'm glad someone could say what I was trying to say in a better way than I said it, and without getting drawn into petty fighting.<p>Let's stop with the slings and barbs, people...whether you think they're justified or not. Even in this thread it's still going on ("immoral people", etc...) just l-e-t i-t g-o already...or at least put a warning in the subject line, like *VENT* or something, so that people know not to waste time trying to help on a vent thread. What is this name-calling going to solve?<p>Venting is only helpful in short bursts, though...the majority of time should be spent on actively working to improve the relationship. I hope that people realize that...

HP<p>Thank you...<p>Howzabout we all get back to what we want to do here...which is to build marriages?<p>E

B U M P<p>You people are still at it...I have some toothpicks here, anyone want some to poke in their eyes????

^

The funny thing is that it's the gloryb folks who keep harrass the MB'rs. <p>It's pretty pathetic. <a href="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=016186" target="_blank">
Guess they have a lot of time on their hands. </a><p>[ March 07, 2002: Message edited by: zorweb ]</p>

But the really sad thing is that some of the MBers aren't conducting themselves any better, and can't be mature enough to ignore them.

The funnier things are: 1) MBers can't seem to just ignore the trolls; and, 2) Some MBers cannot seem to stay off the gloryb board.<p>By any definition this seems to be self-inflicted punishment or pain, then they have the gall to complain about it. Very immature...

Bump! ^

Just a suggestion:<p>I have advocated that GB members not post links to this board. I would like to suggest that MB members not post links to that board. It just seems to add fuel to the fire.

Scarlett,<p>You can advocate all you want. It will work with some and not with others.<p>There is no problem with a person, such as yourself posting here or there. And there are MB'ers who post in both places. For some this works, for others not. <p>Do you really think that you would have influence over someone like this Lisa troll? Is she even a gloryb memeber?

Personally, I think she's a 15 year old snit who likes creative writing. <p>Obviously her story has a few holes in it - 15 year affair with a MM - only if it's her father! In fact, I think that's likely - and she's jealous of her mother! I definitely think she's younger than 22, because she has NO LIFE! <p>Best to ignore the juvi in the hall and have management ban her little IP butt out of here.

I wasn't trying to change what she did/does. <p>I am of the opinion that others can do anything they want. They are responsible for that. I am responsible for how I respond.<p>So when she says nasty things, then MB-ers say nasty things it just goes on and on and on. So why not turn it around. Instead of creating more and more yuck, turn the thread into a nice thing.<p>I don't know about you, but i'd much rather read a "why (whomever) is great" thread as opposed to "why (whomever) sucks".<p>But again, just one woman's opinion.

I have a question. I have been away for a little while. Computer probs. etc. I come back and there are all these horribly mean posts all over the board. Where did these people come from and why are they here. Can they not be banned from the site.
We all have so many other problems to be beaten up on when we come here for help.
Can some of you veterans give me some insight. Thanks in advance