BTDT - OK, ya got me....I come also in peace and with at least somewhat, an apology.<p>Yes, I did feel the Pep was attacked. And, yes, I reacted exactly as you did when you felt Zorweb was attacked. Unfortunately, I posted on this thread too soon after trying to get the stupid gloryb thing stopped by making people look at themselves and also too soon after interjecting myself into MelodyLane's insane attack on Just Learning.<p>Now, JL is far better prepared to defend himself than I am to defend him. It's just that I(and many others) have the deepest respect and admiration for his wisdom and demeanor. The only difference between what you did and what I did was that JL was attacked by someone who considers themselves a "mainstay" of MB and this board. You defended Z from an "outsider" who we all knew wouldn't stay long.<p>I reacted here because I was sick of the "piling on" of the OW threads. The fact of the matter is that the more attention they get, the more likely it is that they will stick around to see how much trouble they can cause. I just felt that a "feelgood" thread had been started here by Pep and once you mentioned the gloryb stuff, it just sank this thread to the same level. I probably shouldn't have reacted as strongly as I did. I still don't feel it was appropriate, but I could have used kinder words to express myself.<p>You said "...since I'm not a BS or a WS or an OP...". You know, for me personally, it doesn't make a whit of difference that you can't put yourself in any of those categories. You are here to learn and to help. In my mind, those are the only qualifications you need. There are others I respect greatly, Just Learning and Mike C2, for example, who have been fortunate enough to have been free of this type of situation. They have no labels on them, just as you have no labels on you.<p>"...Heartpain initiated a discussion of gloryb with the link above..." Yup, I sure did. Anyone that read that thread should have had no illusions about it's topic. I was reading some other thread where the "war" had usurped the original intent of the thread and I decided that I would not respond there, but put it out where no one could mistake the subject.<p>You asked "...what would we do for friends..." Why do we have to respond to outsiders who are obviously here only to start a ruckus?? Put yourself in LisaOW's place. What would your reaction be, after posting that thread to see zero or one responses?? What would your reaction be to seeing 35 replies??? Which of those scenarios would make you more likely to post some more inflammatory garbage?? I believe the answers are obvious, but you have to do what you feel is right. I don't have to agree with it, but I certainly won't complain to moderators in a effort to censure you, either.<p>I appreciate your effort to make peace and as far as I am concerned you have. If you do want to discuss this more, let's take it to it's own thread, OK??? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

[img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] okay.

Hello, old friends! Someone please pass the salmon whip dip, thank you!<p>I loved to see this thread and updates on you guys. I am still around - started by lurking almost 3 years ago and started posting in Oct '99, I think. You know "old timers" have trouble remembering.<p>I mostly stay on D/D board, as I am divorced and have been for over 2 years. ExH and OW got married right after our D. I still post some, but as others have pointed out, it is impossible to keep up with all the folks here. Of late, I am trying to help a couple people on D/D. I do what I can with my limited available time. MB was a live saver for me. Although divorced, I try to use these techniques as best I can in my new relationship, and really all my relationships. What you learn here helps you in LIFE. Also, it helped me to emotionally navigate through the darkest period of my life, and come out of that as a happy person again.<p>I wish each of you health, happiness and love!
Desiree

Hi guys--<p>Good to see so many familiar faces--such good people, so many folks who helped me!<p>For any who don't know and want an update, we recovered pretty well from H's EA. Marraige definitely better than before it exploded, and we both found a deeper faith thru all this. So, for us anyway, there was a gift hidden amidst the hurt.<p>These days we deal mostly with the everyday stress of 2 jobs, 2 kids, a H who travels 30-40% of the time, a W who wants to change careers, aging parents to help with, too little "couple" time, etc...in fact, typing it, I realize that many of those stresses helped contribute to the big breakdown, and they are still with us. But at least now we are on the same side of things, and we do our best to make time and space for our relationship.<p>I still hang out here too much...mostly on EN board, where FHL and I can trade stories of husbandly cluelessness [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] !!!<p>Hugs to you all--<p>Kathi

This is such a great thread!!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I think it would a wonderful thing if you oldtimers came around occasionally and just kept threads like this active. Many of us here could use some examples of life several years down the road.<p>As a result of discussions on threads like this I have often gone back and searched out some of the old discussions to look for different pearls of wisdom. I have to admit too, to looking up some of the memorable events y'all refer to sometimes (the PT thread comes to mind [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] )<p>I appreciate the TRUE MB approach, and I know others do too. When an old timer (old fart?) shows up, I pay close attention. <p>Jeffers

Hi again DeWayne,<p>You know, you and I have more in common than I realized! You seem much better at keeping things to yourself with your spouse than I do with mine. Do you ever have the fear that those "unaddressed issues" are still undermining things to the point of sabotage? Or maybe that is just the fear of the other shoe falling, who knows?<p>I wish all the same positive things back to you, my MB friend!<p>Hey K!<p>Glad to hear about your back surgery success, and sad to hear about your wife's continuing health problems. But mostly just DELIGHTED to read your update and see you here again. God bless you too!<p>HI JUDY!<p>Parallel sister is so right! It is almost frightening isn't it? Sudz is right there with us too! I hope you are doing well. <p>Hey Nicole!<p>I'm back home and feeling a bit better. I'm so sorry about last week and not responding to your request for a chat. I wasn't fit company for man nor beast! BUT the pity party is OVER! Let's try to find the time soon!<p>Never forget that YOU are a success! And you are so loved by all of us! You, Dylan, and Lori kept me going when I thought I couldn't! Lori is the sensible one, Dylan is the passionate one, and you are the sweet one! I am just the one who learned so much by being your friend! THANK YOU!<p>Hi Khyra,<p>I'm glad to see you here! You're right about the healing taking time. I wish more WSs realized that (mine included!). Just keep doing your best, it's all you can do. Thanks for checking in with us!<p>Hi Roll Me Away,<p>Wonderful wishes back to you, and good luck with your new relationship. I hope it brings to you all that you deserve!<p>Hi kam,<p>Thanks for taking the time to join the reunion. I've spoken often here about what you have meant to me and that will never change. I keep up with you and FHL. Just don't think you have the most clueless husbands in the world. That's MY claim to fame!<p>Hi jeffers,<p>I'm glad you found MB, and glad you think this thread is worthwhile. There actually are a lot of veterans still here, we just tend to stay in the background much of the time. I really believe that the TRUE MB approach is the best way to save a damaged marriage and/or a damaged person in the process. Thanks for taking the time to add a response!<p>Thanks to all! I'm still hoping for some more check-ins.<p>Peppermint

Hi Peppermint and everyone else!<p>I didn't get a chance to post sooner but I did want to let you all know what's been keeping me busy! <p>I just got back from Las Vegas where I got married March 8th and spent a week there for a honeymoon. And did we have fun!! Amazingly, we won lots of money!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>It's been great seeing that all of you are still around and reading the updates!<p>Love ya all!
Mitzi [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi Peppermint!<p>Don't know how I missed your reunion thread...guess it's cause I don't visit these here parts very often anymore [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>As you are well aware, H and I are still very much together (d-day Oct 1999)...still struggling to get it *right*...still hoping, loving, and praying day-to-day.<p>Thanks for bringing the *old farts* out of hiding...it's been inspirational. ~Marie