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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 407
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 407 |
WH has moved home and been here for 1 week and a day now. We've had a really nice time and I can say he's been totally honest with me. But tommorrow he moves out again. It's mutually agreed apon, as he feels he needs space and I need respect. (He's moving to his own place and not back in with her)
The strange thing is that he does not have any great desire to see her but does want the opportunity to if he feels like it. I know he's seen her 2 X since he moved home and talked to her on the phone 2X. I think the honesty is what makes him want space. He doesn't want to lie to me so if he moves out he feels he won't have to be honest anymore.
I'm really confused by this lack of sneeking around or even a desire to do so. Maybe I don't see it.But why does he feel he needs his own space? I wonder if she's put boundaries on him. As far as I know she doesn't know he's been home.
He says he has no interest in her sexually, never really did.HURRAY!!!
So the deal is that when he moves out he needs to call me if he wants to see me and we are supposed to date so we can get to know each other again. I say it won't go beyond friendship if he still sees her.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,086
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,086 |
Within this framework, I would behave with him as I would with any other suitor. I would not take it beyond the level of friendship as long as he was continuing a R with the OW, "friend" or whatever. It may be he wants to move out for the reasons Dr. Harley talks about--to have more freedom to be with the OW without having to explain himself to you.<p>[ March 06, 2002: Message edited by: Conqueror ]</p>
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 407
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 407 |
That's what i think Conquerer.But I think his desire to be with her is diminishing at the same time.
If my new life with him moved out is more interesting and rewarding than my life with him, wouldn't he want to be part of it? I plan to keep myself so fulfilled I won't need him anyway.If he wants to be part of it-we'll have to see!!!!
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,086
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,086 |
You have the right attitude, and that's the one I had when my H left. He asked to come back six days later. I was rather happy and looking forward to my new life. Doesn't it feel good when you know you're going to make a good life for yourself no matter what? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ March 07, 2002: Message edited by: Conqueror ]</p>
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