I feel I have tended to mostly post my negative stuff here, so I want to be more mindful of the positive things and do more sharing of those so it will hopefully encourage those behind me on the timeline.<p>To my amazement, my H recently began listening to the Relationship Rescue tapes. I noticed both #2 and #3 of 4 missing from the box today, so he's listening at a more accelerated pace. He hasn't talked to me about any of it yet, but his affection toward me has cranked up a notch. He's leaving love notes for me a couple times a day, and he just now called and actually SAID he wasn't calling for any particular reason, just that he missed me and wanted to talk to me and hear my voice!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Even though we should focus on working on ourselves in Plan A, it helps to know that the avoidance of LBs and becoming an expert at meeting your spouse's ENs can result in positive changes in your spouse as well.<p>I'm starting to see what Michele Weiner-Davis (The Divorce Remedy) is talking about when she stresses to focus on even the baby steps of change because they are still steps in the right direction. If you zero in on those and figure out what you were doing right before or at the same time, you can build on it and continue to become more attractive to your spouse.<p>I'm even feeling more positive toward him as he does more of the things I need, so I think Dr. Harley is right about rebuilding the romantic love with those Love Bank deposits. It wasn't that long ago that I couldn't stand being around him.<p>I encourage those of you struggling to hang on and give Plan A your very best efforts. You may be pleasantly surprised at what develops, and you'll never know unless you go the distance. I remember thinking (and you can read it in past posts) that I couldn't even last to the end of the year, much less until MARCH!!!, and now here I am.<p>My M is not where I want it to be, but it is definitely better than it was all those times I wanted to give up and the more experienced ones here helped me to hold on a little longer. So, try to hold on a little longer.

Conquerer...<p>Thank you for this. I know I have been a plan A champion (meaning rooting others on to plan A... not that I am #1)... but I have been feeling weak today.<p>Thank you for reminding me to keep my eye on the big picture and the baby steps... not on what H is NOT doing... but on what he IS doing.<p>Hugs,
Cali

Conqueror-<p>Thank you so very much for your encouraging post. I'm thinking about what you said about the baby steps and applying them to the events of the last few days. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the big picture and end result, that I miss the little things that mean so much.<p>There are encouraging signs, I just have to look for them, but they are there.