OK, POP quiz: who can look at my signature line and figure what's new with me?<p>ok ok ... I'll give it away. Just got home and my final D papers - signed by the Judge - are here. It's official. I'm divorced. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'm ok. I was expecting it, you know. I was hoping he would change his mind, but he didn't.<p>I know I'm going to be fine. I still have some healing to do. But I don't know where I would be today, without this place for the last 10 months. I have come a long way, and to quote someone's sig line "I don't have to like my situation, but I can like myself in it."<p>I certainly am not leaving MB. I have lots to learn, and want to keep up with all of you. Who knows? H may still change his mind and re-marry me. His A has to end sometime, right?<p>OK, well, I'll be off and on here tonite, but wanted to update everyone.<p>Those of you still chug-a-chuggin up the Plan A/B hill, KEEP chug-a-chuggin!!! Remember those plans are for YOU!!! And DON'T give up or give in, k?<p>"When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and
are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,
faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will
be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how
to fly." -- Barbara J. Winter<p>[ March 06, 2002: Message edited by: Faith1 ]</p>

Faith.....I failed the quiz. I, too, am so very sorry to hear about the paperwork that finalized the Big D. I have to commend you on how well you seem to be handling this event.....with grace, dignity and courage. Good traits for self-preservation.<p>Who's to say that your "X" won't want to get back with you. And who's to say that you won't move on to a better, happier life without him. Whatever the future holds, I wish you the best, always!!!

Faith,<p> I am so sorry that it had to happen this way. Keep your chin up. I don't know where I would be right now without you. <p>Indy

Thanks Geez.<p>Gosh... I thought I was ok. I guess it's sinking in now. It's over. I'm divorced. I'm not ok. But I know I will be. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Where is everyone?

thanks Indy [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>that means a lot. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I guess I have to let my chin down tonite, but it will be up tomorrow.

(((((((( Faith ))))))))
I'm really sorry you're going through this. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[Faith1]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]<p>My heart is with you tonight. <p>Cali

as they say - <p>"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get next"<p>Wish you all the best

thanks Tiny and Cali.<p>It's really hard to think that this all happened in less then 10 months. D-day to D-day. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] All I wanted was a real chance. Didn't get it. I hope I did everything I could. I hope I didn't give up.

You did a GREAT plan A. Your H was just too much in the fog to stay around for you and your M. He'll see that it wasn't you, but HIM, all along.. someday.<p>You can now take your time to choose whether or not you want to plan A him until he sees it, or just move on with your life. Whatever you want, it's up to you. And whenever you're ready too.<p>(((((((((( D ))))))))))<p>Karen

Faith,<p>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Faith}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p> I am sorry. I was hoping right along with you. I will be thinking about you tonite. I am sorry D.<p> Have a crisis tonite myself. Can't talk tonite, can't even reply here further. But tomorrow is a new day.<p> Stay STRONG lil Lady.<p> jd

Dear Faith1,
I'm sorry you are feeling so sad. I have a lot of divorced friends and relatives and it is not the end of the world, even if it may feel like it right now.<p>You are lovable and likeable and a better (stronger, more empathetic) person for what you have gone through. Marriage takes two, divorce seems to only take one stubborn person who is unwilling to change or bend a little bit. I'm not recommending that anyone stay in an abusive relationship, I'm just saying that if one person was willing to walk in Christ's love, then half of the problems are already solved. How many BS's out here are stuck because they want to save their marriages and how many WS's are seemingly stuck because they DON'T want their marriages anymore! LOTS, so you are not alone, Faith1.<p>I think the good in your situation is that no children are being traumatized. Kids feel their parents' pain, regardless of how the parents try to mask it. <p>You'll be all right. I believe God has a bright future for you!

Thank you all for your hugs and encouragement. I reaaaaalllllyyyyy appreciate it. I'm not doing too well this morning. I hate this. <p>Topie, I will remain in Plan B for a while. <p>JD, I hope everything is ok with you. Update us when you can, k? And let us know if we can do anything for you.<p>BtDt, thanks for your encouragement. Why do those words irritate me so bad? "it's not the end of the world" [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] I know it's not, but it sure feels like it right this minute. sighhhhh..... <p>You're all so great. Thanks for being here. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Faith1:
Im sorry to hear that news. I am trying to think of something useful and inspiring to say but Im stuck. But please, definately stay around and keep posting because your experiance, kindness and patience, while maybe not reaching the one you want it to, it is so inspiring to us all here. I'm not a longtimer here, but I know and feel from what I read, you are a great loving person. I'll be selfish and say we need you here. <p>All I can think is that it really is HIS loss. Im sure everyone else in the world can see how special you really are.<p>Dont forget to try to smile.
(((MAJOR HUGS)))<p>-HI<p>
Would it make you smile if I said I was posting with no pants on? please smile quick, people in the office are staring at me funny.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

omg HangingIn [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ROFL<p>thanks!!! (now quit "HangingOut" and put your pants back on [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] )<p>seriously, thanks VERY much for the kind words.

Faith,
I'm sorry that this is not the outcome you hoped for. You will be ok. Take good care of yourself.

I am so sorry for your pain. You are a good person who is just trying to do the right thing. God will reward you for that. Please believe that even thought right now you may not see what wonderful things he has in store for you that they are out there just waiting. Now is the time to pick yourself up and go out and find what is out there. It may be that you will find someone different that will treat you with the respect that you deserve or it may be that your WH will turn around and come running back to treat you with the respect that you deserve. Regardless of the outcome remember that you do deserve respect not only from the person you end up with, but from yourself. <p>Hold your head high and be proud of you. Hugs and prayers for you.
Sinking

Hi Faith,<p>I'm sorry I'm late to this thread, esp when I see what the recent news is for you.<p>Are you okay?<p>It takes a while to sink in. I was on auto-pilot when I went to sign the final D papers, it didn't feel real for a week or so. <p>Best advice I can give is take your time feeling it all, don't deny your feelings either. Let 'em flow.<p>Your marriage did not define you. There are so many possibilities for your NEW life now, and God has seen to it you came out of this a winner, a true success story. <p>Plus, now you can eat onions any 'ole time you want! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'm here if you need to email/talk, Hon.<p>Lv,
Jo<p>[ March 07, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Well, Faith - check out my sig line, too. I haven't actually received the final papers, but I know it has happened.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Faith1:
<strong> All I wanted was a real chance. Didn't get it. </strong><hr></blockquote><p>Me either. But I'm OK, too.<p>I chose my MB name appropriately, I think. All I wanted was a try for me and my son. I thought we were worth it.<p>I can accept failure. What I can't accept is not trying.

Your marriage did not define you.<p>Thank you Jo. You're right. Neither does being "divorced", but that's gonna be a hard one to accept and get used to.<p>You are a good person who is just trying to do the right thing. ... Regardless of the outcome remember that you do deserve respect not only from the person you end up with, but from yourself. <p>Thank you Sinkingfast. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Hugs and prayers for you too.<p>Wat... your words give me so much peace. I know what you've been through, and I have so much respect for you. I nominate you for a MB MVP award. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] You're so right. We are DEFINITELY worth it. "I can accept failure. What I can't accept is not trying. " You know, the only way to really fail at something is to quit. We didn't "fail" at holding on to our marriages, cuz we didn't quit. <p>Thank you all so much. And I'm thankful for this place to write out my thoughts, feelings, and ramblings as they come.