The boys are picking up the signs but we need to tell them properly. Obviously I shall do all I can to reassure them that it's not their fault and I'll always be there for them but how much detail do they need to know? I want to work on the M, W doesn't. OM is the catalyst for the break up? OM exists at all.<p>W has indicated to her family that she would not introduce OM for a while to avoid upsetting the boys. Advice, please.

Maybe you should sit down with your WS and come to an agreement together about what the kids should know. Maybe when they ask the tough questions about mom's thinking, you could refer them to their mom! Let HER answer the tough questions like whether or not she loves them, why is she leaving, etc.? You know, try not to speak for her... Definitely don't dishonor her in the kids' eyes even if she deserves it. I believe God will bless you if you try to stay positive for the kids.<p>Are you keeping the boys or does she actually plan to take them with her???<p>I would tell them the truth--that you and mom are unable to work out your problems, mom wants to break up, and at this point it doesn't look like she will be changing her mind. I wouldn't underestimate their ability to handle truth. Kids are quite amazing...<p>I agree with you wholeheartedly that making sure they understand the breakup is not their fault in any way is the best approach. Might want to be a broken record when telling them this part, especially... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] You guys will make it through this. God is merciful.<p>[ March 07, 2002: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</p>

Hi BTDT<p>She assumes they will go with her but will visit me whenever they like. She thinks they will 'bounce back'. She thinks they'll get on fine with OM. She really only thinks about herself with OM.<p>I think a reality check is coming her way, and I'm dreading seeing thepain on the boys' faces.