....As some of you may know I am a step mother to a very good and fun 7 year old boy. We absolutely have a blast together and since I've been in his life for the past 3.5 years we have grown very close.<p>Well, as I said before, My h and my step son's mother don't take a real active part in my step son's school life. I have always invited both of them to all his plays, open house, teachers conferences but they never go. <p>Well yesterday I invited my son's mother to his open house today and she called me last night and told me she would meet us at the school!! I'm sooo excited and happy for my step son. This would really mean alot to him that she is taking an interest in his school projects. <p>The problem is my step son's teacher have never met my step son's mother and I want to make it the most comfortable for the teacher and her. What can I do to get her involved in asking the teacher questions and sharing her concerns without trying to have his teacher direct all the answers to me. I don't want to step on anyone's toes here.<p>The reason for my concern is becuz last week my step son was real sick with the flu and I had to stay home from work to be with him. Well his mother and I work together and she later called my h and said she wants to take more of an active role and be his mother ..taht she should be the one staying home and caring for her son when he's sick, not me. <p>Also, he got sick in school and they called me, and she was really upset that the school did not notify her. I really want to prevent this from happening as I do want her to be more involved. <p>any suggestions?

When the school calls you, either call her or tell them to call her?<p>Put her name and phone number on his emergency contact card as the primary contact person in emergencies and yours/H's as secondary, even tho he lives with you guys...(?)<p>When the teacher notifies you of anything, either tell the teacher to notify his bio mom or you notify her yourself?<p>I wouldn't involve my H if I were you, after all, he's not all that involved in school matters anyway, right?

I would call the school today before the mom goes to school and ask to talk to the teacher. I would explain exactly what you wrote here and ask for the teacher’s help in making the mom feel wanted and not like a third wheel. Teacher’s understand and are usually pretty tactful about these things. If it’s not possible to have a conversation with the teacher try sending her an email.

Does the boy live with you ? It sounds like it... I would talk to his mom about it... and make it clear that you want her to have all the mom roles and responsibilities and you see yourself as a special friend... and not his mother... (that is if you do... ) as a mom I would never not be involved in my childrens lives... I wonder how this ever happened? Was she on drugs?<p>good luck! H