Well, this month is the anniversary of my WS, A. It has now been going on for 1 year. It is 8 mnths down the line from D-day and today it is 6mnths since he has moved out and left his family and he has now been living with the OW for 3mnths.<p>It is amazing how the time has flown. The first couple of months since D-day to me is shrouded. Emotionally, I was a wreck. Since Dec 01, things started changing for me, my fog lifted.<p>Where am I at now - I have let go. I am now dealing with me. Digging so deep to find out where I went wrong in the marriage. Yes, I have changed. I know now that my happiness depends on me alone and I must fill that void. With or without my H I must be happy. With or without my H, I must deal with my DD's to help them through the pain and make them whole as human beings.<p>I had to go back to my childhood to discover the me and who I want to be. I had to accept God to help me through this to be my friend who I can trust and depend on.<p>A whole new world has opened up to me. Yes, this seperation is painful but now I know I also needed this. This was my wake up call to take stock of my life and where I was heading. Yes, I admit that I did not fulfil certain of my H EN but I also realized that my most important EN was also not being fullfilled. We were existing and not living a life. I though I was happily married but now I realize there was so many things missing in my marriage.<p>I don't ever want to go back to that marriage I had now I want to go back into my marriage with all the knowledge and wisdom that I have gained from my pain. It will be 200% better.<p>The love that I have for my H is beautiful and sincere and very, very deep but if it cannot be returned in it's beauty and sincerity then he does not deserve me then he deserves the distorted love he is getting now.<p>I am getting stronger day by day and by the grace of God I pray that the scales will be removed from my H eyes before it is too late to save our marriage.<p>Thanks for sharing this with me:-)<p>
[img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]
